Dear Tinder, it is not you, it’s me. Here is why I am leaving you.

Dear Tinder,

I wish I had a deep, meaningful explanation to give you, but the truth is harshly simplistic.

I don’t want to catch diseases from women sleeping with tons of dudes they meet on tinder, and I don’t like to use condoms, I hate them.

PLEASE LISTEN EVERYBODY – I am not saying people should not use condoms, I think they should be used when strangers fuck strangers. I am saying I hate them, and would rather not have sex than use them. I am not advocating that anyone have unprotected sex.

Besides, what the hell, dating sites use to have normal people, now it’s fine to have a drink somewhere then go fuck? Or just a dinner, then  go fuck? Or, the last time, calamari and a glass of wine, then to her house? What in the freaking hell is wrong with the world, when the world is making even me look like a prude?

 

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Date Boners: Tonight I Had a Teenage Dork Moment

Once in a while I’ll have a flash back: not a flashback of a memory, more like my body will forget I’m no longer a teenager.  Which is strange – there’s been plenty of time for this fact to sink in.

You might be wondering, “what’s so bad about that? Who wouldn’t want to feel like a young teen again – for a moment at least? Answer, someone who never knows when such a flash back will happen – and when it always seems to happen at the most inconvenient time.

For example, on a first date with someone – like I was tonight. Have you ever gotten turned on by something so minor that you felt like a total dork? or, horny dog? or, creepy god forbid?

Tonight was so ridiculous. Safe to say I’ve seen enough girls in panties – plenty without for that matter – there’s no excuse for tonight’s reaction. I’m avoiding the details, it’s embarrassing – but here you go…

We were at this bar/restaurant playing pool and talking – very comfortable and innocent situation. The “incident” came up so fast and randomly.

She mentioned she worked  just a couple blocks away from where we were. I told her she should have told me – I could have met earlier so she wouldn’t have had to go home and back. (her home is a ways – over five miles, maybe ten. )

She said, “No, it’s fine, I had to go home and date prep anyway.”

I ask her what she meant by date prep. She rattled of some things.. wash up, have a glass of wine, feed dog, etc. etc… “and put on some pretty underwear of course.”

I was just wanting to verify I heard the last part correctly, and asked, “you put on some pretty underwear?”

“Yea, see,” she said. And she pulls her pants down her hip a bit – flashing me the strap of her panties.

I ask her to show me again – because I wanted to seem more it was too fast to see. The bar was empty (Wednesday) and we were off in the corner – nobody else was in a position to see. Then it happened. She pulled the front of her pants out and down, giving me quick full frontal view of her in her panties: yes, they were “pretty underwear.”

They looked like this:

panties2

It was innocent enough; perhaps you had to be there, but in context it wasn’t sleazy – not as inappropriate as it probably sounds.

What was inappropriate, is that my body had one of these flash backs, and ridiculously, i got a boner.

I know, right? What grown man gets a boner over a two second panty flash? Answer, you’re looking at him. Or, you would be if you were here.

Surprise Third Interview with Ashley from tinder: sex, exposure, secrets, risks

Just staring? You might want to read the first two interviews first

Sinner: : Welcome back. Few have actually made it to a third interview – for one reason or another – congrats, and thank you.

Ashley: : Do I get a prize

Sinner: : Maybe, have to think about that. So, the last interview was interesting, so, we’ll start where we left off. Regarding your friend’s husband, who you had that three way with one night, and who you apparently think about often while masturbating, …. why was he so memorable? What’s so great about him that you are so infatuated?

Ashley: : Infatuated is a bit much, but yes, I guess we can go with memorable. Umm, I guess it’s .. well he’s attractive and was only one of two since separating, so that probably conributes..

Sinner: : That’s it?

Ashley: : He took control I guess you could say. With my ex I was more the aggressive one.

Sinner: : So, he was firm and dominant with you? What else?

Ashley: : Something like that. Um…, I think he lasted for a while,  although I don’t remember exactly, and he was rather well endowed which I guess was interesting.

Sinner: : Oh, but I thought size doesn’t matter.

Ashley: : I didn’t say it mattered, I believe I said “interesting.”

Sinner: : How big was this interesting dick? bigger than your ex?

Ashley: : I don’t know, but yes, noticeably larger than my ex.

Sinner: : So that’s why you can’t get him off your mind.

Ashley: : Stop, I’ve been married forever, I don’t have a lot of experiences to work with here.

Sinner: : Would you do another three-way with them if you have the chance?

Ashley: : No, I’m not proud of it. The circumstances as they were, it happened, but I’d not do it again.

Sinner: : Okay. Show me your tits.

Ashley: : Show me your cock!

Sinner: : okay

Ashley: : You are crazy, I cannot believe you just did that.

Sinner: : Your turn.

Ashley: : Seriously wasn’t expecting that. Alright, don’t blink.

Sinner: : Awesome! Very hot, pointy.

Ashley: : Yes, I’ve heard them referred to as “missile tits.”

Sinner: : So that was fun.

Ashley: : Not sure whether I should feel offended or grateful, nobody’s ever exposed themselves to me before.

Sinner: : What, you asked/told me to.

Ashley: : True, didn’t think you’d actually do it, was just making a point.

Sinner: : I’m sorry.

Ashley: : it’s okay. It’s really, well, big, no?

Sinner: : no.

Ashley: : Liar, it looked like it unless I’m seeing things?

Sinner: : You’re seeing things.

Ashley: : Whatever you say. Am I supposed to concentrate now?

Sinner: : Of course, interview only half over.

Ashley: : Got it.

Sinner: : May I post a pic of your missile tits for readers to see?

Ashley: : Sure, as long as you post your cock next to it.

Sinner: : No way.

Ashley: : There you go.

(she wouldn’t let me post a pic but I found a photo that is similar)

missile

Sinner: : Did you have a boyfriend before you got married? before your husband?

Ashley: : Yes, a couple. I had a somewhat serious boyfriend in high school, and one in college. So, two serious relationships before I met my husband.

Sinner: : What were they like? Why did you break up?

Ashley: : The high school one ended with high school, and I met my husband, ex husband, while dating the college one. My high school boyfriend wanted sex all the time, for the most part, and my college boyfriend, well, he did too, but.

Sinner: : LOL That’s high school and college guys for you. Who was the
best in bed? who do you miss the most? Where they better than your ex husband in anyway?

Ashley: : Although I had nothing to compare him to at the time, my boyfriend in high school compared very well, I still think about him sometimes. My boyfriend in college was the most confident but not so great compared to the others. My husband was fine at first but his drinking eventually made it not so good.

Sinner: : What was so good about the first?

Ashley: : Again, he was more aggressive, I guess.

Sinner: : And, was he the biggest, or ?

Ashley: : Yes, from what I remember.

Sinner: : How could you not remember?

Ashley: : Time plays tricks, I’ve been with one man for a long time. They were all around the same size, normal I guess, none particularly large like Dan, my friends husband, or like you.

Sinner: : You’ve never seen me hard, how would you know I’m any different?

Ashley: : True, I just saw you for a moment, but judging by that

Sinner: : Fair enough, I can take it out while we finish up if need be.

Ashley: : What? Take what out, your cock? I think I got a clear picture, but if you want to, go for it.

Sinner: : Like this.

Ashley: : You are totally insane, for those not here, he took it out and it’s right, um, out.

Sinner: : You know what’s fucked up, if I was creepy and ugly, you’d be offended.

Ashley: : Who says I’m not?

Sinner: : Wow, you are?

Ashley: : Yes, of course. But, keep it out, need to look at this.

Sinner: : WTF, you’re offended that I have my dick out but want me to keep my dick out?

Ashley: : Exactly.

Sinner: : So then you’re not really offended.

Ashley: : Maybe not totally.

Sinner: : Okay, any thoughts or you just going to look at me?

Ashley: : Looking? moi? Next question.

Sinner: : Who was better, that Tinder guy you slept with or the friends husband?

Ashley: : That’s easy, friend’s husband. The Tinder guy was nothing special, obviously, as I haven’t seen him again.

Sinner: : How many times in a week do you masturbate?

Ashley: : Um…, two to four times probably. Some weeks I’m like insatiable and other weeks not so much. Last week I was crazed, like non stop. Don’t know what’s come over me.

Sinner: : Wow, so non stop masturbating, you were really horny?

Ashley: : Wondering if there’s something seriously wrong with me, I’ve been crazy with that lately. Ahhhh, you put it away, I’m much less offended now.

Sinner: : I’m sorry.

Ashley: : I’m totally giving you a hard time.

Sinner: : Yes you are. 😦

Ashley: : Aw, don’t pout, I’ll eventually recover from the trauma.

Sinner: : Trauma? ouch.

Ashley: : Better you think I’m traumatized than mesmerized.

Sinner: : You’re mesmerized?

Ashley: : Shut up, anymore questions?

Sinner: : Yes, is there anything sexually that you did with either of your two first boyfriends that you never did with your husband?

Ashley: : hmm, well my second, college boyfriend and I were very, um.., experimental.

Sinner: : And?

Ashley: : Let’s just say that I put my tongue in a certain place that I never did with my husband. Enough said on that.

Sinner: : Oh, you licked the boyfriends ass?

Ashley: : As I said, enough said.

Sinner: : Who made you come most often, and how many orgasms have you had  during one session of sex?

Ashley: : It’s a typical thing with me you could say, never had much difficulty there. Just a guess, maybe five to seven times? Not sure, but several times.

Sinner: : Wow, so you come easily? quickly?

Ashley: : Yes.

Sinner: : How many times did you come with your friends husband that one time?

Ashley: : That’s actually what I was referring to with the five to seven. I honestly don’t remember, but it was many.

Sinner: : wow.

Ashley: : blush.

Sinner: : Little does your husband – ex husband – know.

Ashley: : Yup, oh god, it would kill him.

Sinner: : You going to tell him about it?

Ashley: : God no, that would be cruel.

Sinner: : Did you come so many times because you were licking your friend’s clit?

Ashley: : It may have added to the excitement but mainly it was him, not really into the other stuff.

Sinner: : So you haven’t imagined anything with her since?

Ashley: : I didn’t say that. Now I’m blushing. No, I mean, there are aspects of it that are interesting, yes, but..

Sinner: : Fair enough, it’s hot sometimes to think about licking your friends pussy, but her husband dominating you with his big, hard, commanding cock is hotter?

Ashley: : Close enough.

Sinner: : Awesome. Well that about covers things I guess.

Ashley: : Do I get to ask you anything?

Sinner: : No.

Ashley: : That is fair.

Sinner: : Kidding. Nobody every wants to, but if there’s anything you want to ask, be my guest.

Ashley: : Does anyone you talk about on your blog know about it, have any found it?

Sinner: : A couple characters in the stories know (one I had major negotiations with about it) , and funny you ask, my most recent ex girlfriend just found it. I was very embarrassed, but oddly enough, it turned her on. I would love to get a couple main characters to do a live interview, but those that know about it are too worried about anonymity so far – as am I, so I totally understand.

Ashley: : Why don’t you have photos of yourself on the blog? or, god forbid, of your cock? Just saying, what would it hurt?

Sinner: : I’m shy and private. I am very traditional in every other aspect – as are my parents and siblings who would die if they saw this, so face photos are too risky. A cock photo would be too creepy and remove the mystery, not my style. I know, I did just whip it out, but I’ve seen your breasts and you want to get with me, so it’s different.

Ashley: : Wait, you showed me you first, before I showed my breasts.

Sinner: : True.

Ashley: : Umm, and, what’s this about me wanting to get with you?

Sinner: : You don’t?

Ashley: Screw you, I do, but…

Sinner: : LOL

Ashley: : Shut up!

Sinner: : LOL, I love it. So, you saw my cock and now want to get with me?

Ashley: : Quit while you’re ahead, maybe?

Sinner: : Okay, so now we aren’t answering, that’s fine – just so I know

Ashley: : You’re putting words in my mouth

Sinner: : Oh, okay, I’m sorry. So, I need to retract the stuff about you wanting to get with me and all because you saw my cock

Ashley: : Definitely not, because I saw your cock. We shall see, as far as me wanting to “get with you. Seeing your cock didn’t hurt, but…

Sinner: : Well now I’ve lost track of truth here, but okay, I’ll not pin you down on this if you wish to get out easy.

Ashley: : What? Fine, ask me a straight question and I’ll answer.

Sinner: : When did you masturbate last?

Ashley: : Last night.

Sinner: : What is the nastiest of your routine fantasies while masturbating?

Ashley: : Probably one involving two men, or sometimes more.

Sinner: : You mean, a guy in your pussy and another in your ass at the same time?

Ashley: : where else would they be? oh, well my mouth, okay.

Sinner: : I like your jeans, and what panties are you wearing, if any? please describe.

Ashley: . Thanks, and yes I’m wearing white ones, thongs I believe.

Sinner: : Believe or know?

Ashley: : I know smart butt.

Sinner: : Let me see.

(she just pulls the waistband of them above her jeans. they are white, the thong part has not been confirmed.)
(this is getting long, will post the rest in a separate post)

Submit Your Questions and Suggestions Now – for Second Half of Ashley Interview

I hope you enjoyed reading the first half of my interview last night with Ashley (from Tinder).

Thank you you very much to you three who suggested question; they were tough – probably more difficult to ask than to answer, but I managed to ask all of them.

Here is another chance for everyone to participate – you’ve got about an hour and 1/2 to submit questions for me to ask Ashley during the second half of her interview tonight.

If you missed the first half from last night, here is a link: First part of Ashley Interview

You may suggest questions by commenting on this post or submit anonymously if you’d like using the following form.

Thank you for your participation and thanks for reading.

D

 

First Half of Interview with Ashley from Tinder – her ex – boobs – sex – and more

Tinder Ashley Interview

I was on Tinder while out by myself having sushi for dinner last night, and she agreed to come over and have a few drinks and do an interview.

We’ve had about an hour to make each other’s acquaintance and get through a bottle of Markham. Just uncorked another and we’re here at my dining table. We’ll be passing the laptop for this one.


Sinner Saint: Thank you for coming over and doing this interview.

Instructions: How this works is, I ask you intrusive and shocking questions, and you see how many you can answer before you storm out my door in a fit of disgust and anger. A few of the questions were submitted by readers – so if you are particularly offended by one, it’s probably one of theirs.

Speaking of which, we’ll start with the most provocative question suggested by readers. “‘Did you come for an interview or did you really just want to get some dick?”

Ashley: Must the two be mutually exclusive?

Sinner Saint: So, you’re saying you wanted to do an interview and you wanted to get, um…

Ashley: I’m saying there’s room for both possibilities.

Sinner Saint. Got it. I think. So, you’re 37 years old, divorced and have one child, right?

Ashley: Yes, I have a daughter in Junior high who’s with her dad during the week and with me on weekends.

Sinner Saint: How long have you been divorced?

Ashley: Officially, the divorce is not final, but we haven’t lived together for two years.

Sinner Saint: So you kicked him out because his dick was too small?

Ashley: No, I left because he was an alcoholic and I was done dealing with it.

Sinner Saint: Sorry to hear that. So, his dick wasn’t too small?

Ashley: No, I didn’t have a problem with his size. As for erectile dysfunction due to the drinking, different story.

Sinner Saint: That sucks – for both of you. So, he couldn’t get hard anymore? How long was that going on? You were both pretty young for that to be happening.

Ashley: with enough effort I could usually get him hard enough to do something, but he couldn’t get a full erection and would lose it right away. It’s probably been five years or longer since I’ve seen him “full functioning” shall we say. He’s seven years older than I, but still, I know it was the drinking and not his age. Again, I left because of the drinking, the ED was just one of many problems it was causing.

Sinner Saint: Do you still get together and have sex now and then out of convenience when you’re particularly horny.

Ashley: Do we need to do a lesson on erectile dysfunction? Sorry, that sounded a bit bitchy, obviously I’m not bitter at all about it. (ha ha). He chose drinking at the expense of his equipment working.

Sinner Saint: Have you met up with other guys on Tinder? Did you fuck them? On the first date?

Ashley: I have met up with two I met on Tinder and one of them I had sex with.

Sinner Saint: Nice, how was that? Was it your first time back in the saddle after your and your husband split up?

Ashley: Yes, had been twelve years since I had been with anyone other than my husband, so that was exciting. There was some ED going on with him too, wouldn’t you know, but it wasn’t too bad.

Sinner Saint: Not too bad… does that mean you had orgasms while fucking him?

Ashley: Ive never had much difficulty with that. I know some girls have a difficult time with it.

Sinner Saint: Okay, here’s two more questions suggested by readers. Reader Q 1: “Have you had any big black cock? Reader Q 2: “Look at Duncan and describe what you see ~ give us an overview or general impression?” Hmm, wonder which question was suggested by a guy and which from a female. LMAO. Love it.

Ashley: No “big black cock” as of yet, and let me see

He is dressed casually in a plain white t-shirt and jeans, and fancy shoes. He’s got gorgeous, deep blue eyes, and nice hair that is just slightly receding (no sign of balding). Hopefully that answers the question? He’s in good shape and quite handsome if that is what you’re asking.

Sinner Saint: I might not include this questions.

Ashley: Now he’s blushing.

Sinner Saint: Shut the fuck up.

Ashley: So sensitive. I’m just answering the questions YOU gave me.

Sinner Saint: Good point. I should have not given you it, but I didn’t want to be a dick and not ask questions that readers took the time to contribute.

Ashley: I thought it was good question.

Sinner Saint: Well I thought the “big black cock” question was particularly inspired.

Okay, one more reader question. “Describe the bra and panties you are wearing and show sinner your tits so he can take a pic so we can see them.”

Ashley: Are these really coming from readers?

Sinner Saint: Okay, that last one was me, but the others were from readers I swear.

Ashley: Oh you are bad. I am wearing white thong panties and just a white bra that I like, and sorry, I have a teenage daughter who doesn’t need to be running into nude pics of her mother on the internet.

Sinner Saint: Good point, totally understand. Shall we take a bathroom break, and we can discuss.. We could finish up tonight, or I’m free tomorrow night or Friday if you want to finish second half then?

Ashley: I have my daughter on Friday, but maybe tomorrow. We can discuss.

Have someone Coming over for Interview in a about an hour, let me know some shocking questions you’d like me to ask her.

I don’t do Tinder. Much. I open it up sometimes and swipe when I’m out somewhere and have a few moments to kill, I’ve only met up with one person from Tinder.

Tonight will be the second person I’ve met on Tinder – only meeting her because she agreed to come do an interview, and because her pics don’t suck.

The good part is I don’t know her – just swiped her last night while out having sushi, and Tindering, so I can ask her just about anything w/out much shame: I won’t ask her anything that would hurt her feelings of course; but, pissing her off or triggering moral sensibilities, bring it.

You can submit questions below – and no matter how shocking or personal,  intrusive or sexual, I will ask them.