Interview with Payton
I needed to get out of the house and went to a local dive bar around 11pm tonight, and there I met Payton and her friend. One of the two is next to me at my kitchen table and agreed to do an interview. It isn’t early. Or, it’s really early.
Sinner: Hi Payton, thank you for braving an interview at this hour, are you ready?
Payton: Ready Freddy.
Sinner: It’s Duncan, but close enough. When did you last have sex?
Payton: Not a fan of foreplay?
Sinner: I am a fan of foreplay, this is it.
Payton: Well if this is your foreplay then..
Sinner: Exactly, contraceptives are recommended for the main questions.
Payton: Should I be scared or excited?
Sinner: You should be scared in a good way and excited in a bad way.
Payton: Well if you must know, the last time was a week ago Saturday. When did you last have sex?
Sinner: Who’s interviewing who here?
Payton: So I can’t ask questions.
Sinner: I had sex Wednesday, sort of.
Payton: What do you mean sort of?
Sinner: I had anal, I guess that counts.
Payton: My my, that might count double. I wonder how that came about? Sorry, I’ll stop asking questions.
Sinner: My ex girlfriend texted and asked if I wanted to fuck. I told her no, unless she wanted anal, then she could come over and I would. So she did and we did, and she left.
Payton: Sounds like that worked out well for you.
Sinner: It was torture, just trying to do my part. How did your last “experience” come about?
Payton: It was after a date with this guy. I wasn’t going to sleep with him but when he dropped me home, well you know, one thing leading to other things etc.
Sinner: wow, first date sex?
Payton: Third date sex.
Sinner: How would you describe the experience in one word? Amazing?
Payton: Maybe three minutes. Maybe.
Sinner: Was that enough?
Payton: Enough? Enough for him evidently.
Sinner: So you didn’t come?
Payton: In three minutes?
Sinner: So you didn’t, were you frustrated?
Payton: Not for long, took care of things as soon as he left.
Sinner: With a toy.
Sinner: So, you haven’t seen him since? Have you talked to him?
Payton: Have not seen him. He’s been texting everyday since. He wanted to go out tonight, but Jill (drunk pretty girl you met earlier) wanted to go out.
Sinner: So do you like him? Do you plan to keep seeing him?
Payton: Not sure, I don’t think so. He’s a bit too clingy..
Sinner: And then there’s the three-minute ish
Payton; If that, yes.
Sinner: How about before that? when was the last time?
Payton: Half a year ago, total catastrophe.
This should be good Why, what happened?
Payton: It was with this guy friend I’ve known since junior high. I think he always had a bit of a crush on me but I was never attracted to him. While I was married my ex and I would hang out with him on occasion. Sorry, kind of a long story, are you wanting short answers?
Sinner: No, fascinated, please finish, take your time.
Payton: Okay, after my divorce, Doug (the friend) was a shoulder to lean on. He was single but I still was not interested in anything romantic. I should have followed my instincts, but Doug was persistent and eventually persuaded me to give it a shot. Looking back I don’t know what I was thinking.
We had a kiss one night, nothing else, and soon after I relocated out-of-state for a new job. Doug and I continued to communicate long distance, and somehow or another we hatched a plan for him to fly out and visit, to have sex essentially. I had starte dto feel a little bit of attraction, and He talked a big game – seemed like he might know what he was doing at least, maybe it would be good. It was a bad idea, but he few out for a weekend and we went through with it as planned. We should have stuck with friendship, now it is weird, we have only talked once since.
Sinner: So what happened, the sex wasn’t good
Payton: Yes, was not good. Not only that, but was awkward and embarrassing, for both of us I think. The chemistry was definitely not happening.
Sinner: That sucks. What was bad about the sex, or did it just feel weird because you had been friends for so long? Did he smell? Was it another three-minute situation?
Payton: Pretty much everything that could go wrong did. For starters, Doug had some “stage fright,” (as he defined it) . He never fully got over the “stage fright,” so we fumbled around trying to get started. I was hoping maybe he would get over the stage fright once we go underway. As soon we got started Doug got up, he was in me I’d say not even a minute. I thought maybe he was frustrated about the stage fright or something. I asked him what was wrong, and said, nothing, “I came.”
In my mind, I was wondering what happened to the hours of passionate love-making he had texted me about. When did he come? He was not even hard and there were no clues that would indicate he was coming, we had not even moved, it was all very strange. I felt bad at first but it bothered me more as I thought about it.
My theory is that he has always wanted to get with me and figured he would say whatever he had to, and score even if it messed up our friendship. It was my choice too, but still, I felt he too advantage because he wanted to have sex regardless of the aftermath that he must have known would no be good.
Sinner: That sucks, sounds very disingenuous. Did you get any sexual pleasure out of the sex?
Payton: None. Hard to even call it sex, basically he put it in and unloaded.
Sinner: Wow. That might be the worst sex story I’ve ever heard.
Payton: The worst I’ve had.
Sinner: This is depressing, have you had any good sexual experiences.
Payton: There was one other when I got divorced that was good.
Sinner: So before Doug, you had good sex?
Payton: it was vacation sex, just a one time thing, but probably the best I have had. For sure the beset, actually. First new sex in eleven years, so that was part it.
Sinner: So your husband left you and then you went on vacation and got laid?
Payton: No, I left him. It actually happened before the divorce. Okay, let me explain. I discovered that my ex was having an affair and the other woman was a friend. I went on vacation with another friend to get some space from the situation and sort things out.
Between you and I, and everyone reading your blog who hopefully were not part of this, I was angry and wanted to hurt him back, so I did it as a revenge fuck. At the time I was thinking that I would have sex with someone to even the score, and then work things out with my husband on equal footing. I never saw the vacation guy again, but it did change my perspective. The next week I returned home and asked for a divorce.
Sinner: I’m sorry about your marriage, and your husband with your friend, that rough. It’s a fascinating story, not that it helps. So you intended to have revenge sex?
Payton: As bad as it may be, yes I did.
Sinner: Wow, did you tell your husband, ex?
Payton: I told him I slept with someone while I was “distraught and drunk” .. in truth it was a bit more intentional, again, that part is between us.
Sinner: That and the part about it being the best sex you ever had.
Payton: Yes, that part too.
Sinner: Was the vacation guy sex was better than it was with your husband.
Payton: No question, my ex was selfish , vacation guy was a giver… and gave, and gave. Lol.
Payton: (Payton is texting on her phone) Oh god, my friend Jill is checking on me, can’t believe she is still up. She says, “making sure your not chopped up in pieces. Hope I’m not interrupting anything? He’s cute, if I knew how to not be married for a an hour, I’d not be married all over it. I shouldn’t have said that, I’m drunk. Plus it’s true shhhhh.”
Sinner: I’m not blushing so don’t even. Tell her to come over, I know a way to not be married for an hour.
Payton: You do?
Sinner: No, lol, I wish I was a priest right now, I could temporarily dissolve here marriage. But as a priest I couldn’t fuck her, back to the drawing board.
Payton: She’s so drunk, her Nana died and they were close, she never gets like this.
Sinner: She’s hot.
Payton: She is beautiful, for sure.
Sinner: As are you.
Payton: That’s sweet, thank you. I’m cute, Jill’s gorgeous.
Sinner: Maybe, but you have bigger boobs. Speaking of which, we’ll need a photo of them to post with the interview, standard policy.
Payton: Kiss my ass, that’s your policy.
Sinner: Thank you for doing this interview, will you do a part 2 sometime?
Payton: Maybe, perhaps I can talk Jill into doing one with me
Sinner: That would be great, please do. Thank you.
Suggest questions to ask Payton during (hopefully) her followup interview