Read prior posts and within comment sections. thank you.
I wish I had a deep, meaningful explanation to give you, but the truth is harshly simplistic.
I don’t want to catch diseases from women sleeping with tons of dudes they meet on tinder, and I don’t like to use condoms, I hate them.
PLEASE LISTEN EVERYBODY – I am not saying people should not use condoms, I think they should be used when strangers fuck strangers. I am saying I hate them, and would rather not have sex than use them. I am not advocating that anyone have unprotected sex.
Besides, what the hell, dating sites use to have normal people, now it’s fine to have a drink somewhere then go fuck? Or just a dinner, then go fuck? Or, the last time, calamari and a glass of wine, then to her house? What in the freaking hell is wrong with the world, when the world is making even me look like a prude?
Okay, please understand that I am a slow starter (sometimes termed, slow learner) but through brute force if nothing else, eventually catch up.
so I’ve avoided facebook like, but have missed all these people from my past, and couldn’t find them. This morning I just type their name into facebook, and what the fuck, I’m chatting with them.
Can you all please clue me in a bit earlier in the game next time?
wow, this is a trip.
What I think Is Extra Fun About Women: Selective Morality & Prudence depending on How Hot they Think You are & How Much They want to F&CK you. Or, Is there more to it?
Perhaps it is the same way for men, but it seems like a lot of girls adjust their rules based on how hot they think a guy is. I’ve always accepted the obvious assumption, that attraction and desire often have the power to overwhelm one’s moral or cultural convictions.
But there are some interesting aspects about this that suggest it may not be so simple. I wonder, is it just about attractiveness, or could a guy’s hotness not actually be the objective? Could it be a convenient excuse for girls to bend their own rules and accomplish some other, higher desire?
Let’s look at a few situations where I’ve seen people shape-shift their fundamental rules with particular attention to elements that contradict the assumption that it is attraction compelling people to redraw their boundaries.
I’ve seen a girl keep her boyfriend waiting for two years, because her chastity was so important, just to lose it her last month in high school to one of the more popular athletes. No, she wasn’t passed out, she wasn’t drugged, and I think her boyfriend was the only person at our school who didn’t know what happened – at the party where she gave it up.
(By the way, her boyfriend was not at the party with her because he was out of the state attending a grandparent’s funeral).
And, I’m glad you noticed, I played no part in the scandal, hands are clean this time, I mean, I did have sex with her too, but not until years later.
In the mean time, I ran into the boyfriend at a restaurant, Macayo’s, a couple years after high school. I really wanted to tell him everything, but decided it might hurt him more than help. I wonder how much he ever found out.
But was it just the guy’s good looks and popularity that compelled her to give up her virginity, risk her relationship, and reshape her reputation? It is hard to believe, isn’t it? And, she was attractive, so even if the guy she slept with was a little bit out of her league, she certainly could have found a fairly handsome guy to trade up to if she wanted a more handsome or popular boyfriend.
Are there any other aspects of the situation, besides a chance with a member of the school’s A group? Her boyfriend was not around. There was a little bit of drinking. Most of the girls probably dreamed for an opportunity to be the focus of that guy’s affection, so even if they called her a slut, few would probably blame her for her actions. .
Let’s hold on to these thoughts and look at some more examples.
I had this friend who I met when I first got to college. She was brilliantly smart and had an amazing body, but we were both too cool and cautious, and having too much fun with being single, to become a couple – we were so cool, that we would hardly admit we wanted each other. The cool thing was, from the window of my dorm room, I could see the entrance to her dorm; there were outside stairs up to a door to the second floor of her dorm – it was near her room, so she’d always return through it.
This is where almost all of her dates would follow, right up to the door, drooling with hopes of getting anything. Nobody got through that door. She had many dates. When she wasn’t at a sorority function, she was usually being wined and dined by the many wealthy men wanting to impress her around Los Angeles. Both of us lived in honors dorms, neither of us studied.
I had already studied this kind of thing, the moment I met her I knew what none of her suitors seemed to get – Denise was a tease and built her self esteem off of guys wanting her. And, more importantly, she got off on denying them – NOT getting off with them. The way She dressed and acted, who would believe she was still a virgin.
For much of my freshman year I’d watch her dates walk her up to that door. I never saw her give more than a peck to a single one of them. I’d have a shot and throw on some cologne because most of the time she’d head over to my room soon after; when she didn’t, I’d go to hers.
The only Ferrari I drove during college was hers, her and her sister each got their own as a high school graduation present. I didn’t have the money that some of her dates and “boyfriends” spent on her – but I had her asking me to teach her how to give me head after they dropped her off, and a couple years later, yes she held out that long, I had her virginity, she asked me to take it.
Yes, this does relate to the discussion, I think. The point is that she prided herself on her virginity and practically defined herself by being a tease and not putting out, but she changed her whole cosmology because of chemistry?
This story is even more inconsistent to theory than the first. While there was wild chemistry between us and Denise did have a strong attraction to me, she had so many pursuers to choose from, there had to have been plenty who were hotter than i was, no way was I this girls only decent option, she could have scored far hotter I’m sure.
So, what else about the situation was abnormal or remarkable? Here’s something, I never made my intentions or desire for her public; most of our love affair was our little secret. Few of her friends knew about our dorm room rendezvous; also, I never interfered with or raised issue about her highly active dating life.
Let’s let those thoughts bake a bit and look at one more example before seeing if we can assemble any theories.
In high school I ended up the writer and director of our class play each year. After our class had won the competition for the first two years, I had accrued some power over the project; I was head honcho, just like a big-time Hollywood producer, if you substitute in geeky school kids for gorgeous, famous actors, and replace brilliant, Tarantino-esq scripts with cliche-riddled gibberish.
But, evidently I had assumed enough power to decide I needed a personal assistant, secretary, so I appointed one. It is possible she was the only one who volunteered, don’t remember. She was sort of cute in the most unpopular, not-trying-at-all, extremely Mormon, never-kissed-a-guy sort of way.
Actually, she did have a BINO (boyfriend in name only) that went to her church, she said they had kissed once and she shared with me her predicament – the guy had been pressuring her for more kissing. Don’t be skeptical, I’m’ not making this shit up! Have you not known any deeply
brainwashedcommitted, adorably naive teenage Mormons?
Through the years I have come to appreciate Mormons, and a little naive innocents – let’s be generous and call it goodness.
It isn’t a stretch to say that I was out of her league in terms of high school desirability; had she not been thrust into the spotlight as my important, personal secretary, we probably would have never had a conversation. Relax, I’m not bragging, this distinction is critical to what what we’re analyzing.
So, this girl Tamarin .. (WHAT?, I didn’t name her – she’s Mormon, give her a break) .. anyway, Tamarin had kissed a guy once, I’d wager there wasn’t an abundance of tongue involved, but by our third play writing session, she was grabbing my cock with one hand and taking notes with the other. Sort of.
It was strange, we just pretended like nothing was happening. The first couple times she just sort of rested her hand on me while I was half way hard, at least. We never took it out. We never kissed or did anything else that would obviate something intimate or imprudent was happening. It became our routine, she’d hold onto my cock every time we met up.
After a couple times, she moved her hand and rubbed my cock just enough to make me cum, and going forward, that part was incorporated into our meetups. A few times I got so turned on that I did pull her pants down to see her in panties, or touch here ass, that was the farthest it went. She wasn’t getting touched, or coming, or anything really – not sure what she was getting out of it – if anything, but she did it every time.
She acted like nothing was happening, but a couple times I saw her almost get worked up and show signs of being really turned on. It was hurting my cock because I couldn’t take it out of my jeans, so after a few painful times, I thought I would try wearing sweat pants. I was worried about avoiding the pain and it didn’t occur to me until we got started, that the sweatpants were closer to wearing nothing than they were to wearing jeans. My shape, and contours were all available. She actually looked down and stroked a little, she let out a few deep breaths, and a few of the times she looked right down at me while I came – saw the wet spot grow as my cum seeped through.
Tamarin was concerned about too many kisses, and a few weeks later, hand jobs were routine, – did she change her boundaries because she thought I was hot – or, hotter than her normal catch?
Again, like with the other stories, it is hard to give physical attraction so much credit. Are there any other unique or remarkable factors in this story, that might contribute to a more reasonable explanation?
A couple aspects stand out – similar to some we’ve identified in the other two situations. For one, there were no witnesses – I would bet that to this day she has not told a living soul what she did. Nobody from her world ever know if she didn’t tell them; for all anyone would know, her morals had never bent. And, we didn’t fool around in any normal ways, we basically pretended like what we were doing wasn’t happening, so it wouldn’t be so hard over time convince oneself to believe nothing really happened.
What does all this mean?
These are just three examples, but they bare similarities to other situations that have happened to me or that I’ve heard about.
I’m going to suggest that physical attraction alone is not enough to compel a girl to move her more solid boundaries. I do believe that physical attraction is critical and the boundaries would not shift without that factor, but there has to also be a second factor. I think the second factor is “rollback-ability.”
People will stretch their boundaries or redefine their morality, if (a) there is enough incentive to do so (physical attraction) and (b) when the situation is such that will allow the boundaries to be restored.
If we are to stretch our boundaries without permanent damage to our moral integrity, we must either break free where nobody who counts on us keeping our prudence, can see us dismiss it. The situation offers determinant containment, or, the situation in itself must provide an excuse or authority with enough weight to pardon such a reprieve from principle.
And in some cases, I believe people let go of themselves in situations they know will force a re-evaluation. Perhaps we break ourselves into some situations that we believe will elevate us to places that paint over where we were, we move to a different world, what we broke or betrayed doesn’t exist anymore, unmaking is efficient fixing.
Dirty Little Secret: Sex with anyone gets boring fast, we all get ugly, and it gets gross, & your marriage is doomed, unless.
Stop. Don’t even bother trying to deceive yourself about it. it doesn’t matter how amazing hot your lover is. if you’ve been with them for over a year, the physical aspect of sex – including your lover’s body, is beginning to bore you to death.
As hard as it may be to hear, boredom and callousing attraction threaten the success, even survival of your relationship.
The question is: If even the hottest people do not remain exciting for very long, and it is critical to the success of our marriage that they remain not-boring, what the hell can we do?
But the deeper questions are: If the hottest mates become just as unexciting, why does attractiveness play such a significant role in mate selection?
Screw those questions, a better one would be: how much of an advantage do you have, how better is your chance for happiness (or mere pleasure), if you’re hotter looking?
But then the thing is: hotness does not last, have you seen Richard Gere lately? Yikes. Oh no, even the hottest get taken down by the latest. Gwyneth, Meg, Val, and eventually everyone no matter how physically breathtaking we are.
Val Kilmar was
and this …
BELIEVE me, I am not posting these examples to be mean or to disparage these fine people. I am making the point that everybody gets taken down eventually; the most arrogant guy who stole your girlfriend and that stunning girl who breezed through her teens and twenties, with any guy she chose – and all her whims payed for – she’s going down, time is gonna cabbash that shit, toot sweet.
Before we talk about counter measures, let’s back up a bit and discuss the problem.
My girlfriends give us a a fair cross section of data to look at for this issue: some people have a type that they are attracted to; by the variety of girlfriends I have been attracted to, evidently I do not. Before I grew older and uglier, there were a few girlfriends who were fashion-model hot – one of them was literally a model, and after a year, all of the very hottest were no more arousing than than the most nondescript.
Physical attractiveness does just what it sounds like – attracts. Statistics have shown that when men have an affair, the other women are usually less physically attractive than their wives. (by the way, the reverse is true for woman who usually choose a man who is physically superior to their spouse).
We know men are more visual, so why would they place less emphases on looks when selecting who to cheat with, while attractiveness is more pertinent to a woman’s choice of paramour? (see The Sexy Son Hypothesis)
Remind me to write a post on, “Women are more likely to cheat up, while men are more likely to cheat around. “
I am not going to blow smoke up your ass and tell you that the few women who never got boring where completely unattractive. They were good looking , no question; however, they were not the most attractive physically, by large margin.
So what was it? What was the secret sauce? Both were intelligent; one was very extroverted and positive while the “sushi waitress” was more introspective and serious. ** Both had strong sex drivers – higher than they would have preferred I think, and both were compelled to take risks to accommodate their needs. **
WAIT! To the fundamentalists and Christians reading, please don’t run off just yet, you may be surprise and pleased with where this is going.
First, please plug your ears as we have to talk about sex for a second.
The dirty, dirty little secret to what makes another person stimulating, are the very things that none of us (THINK) we would want in a relationship. The sacred scrolls on the subject, if there were such a thing, would etch out the following four aspects of what makes for hot, sexual alchemy.
3. Breach of boundary.
to be continued … P & J just showed up.
I had planned on posting this last night after the interview, as you shall see, certain factors got in the way.
If you want to read this – you probably should do so now – as I may decide to take it down.
Trigger warning: mature, reality content. Questionable morality. Burn-in-hell behavior.
context: (It’s about 8:35pm Saturday evening, thanksgiving weekend. Payton brought Jill with her – who I met at the bar where I met Payton before the first interview. I have a roaring fire going in the stone fireplace on my back patio, and my back doors open so we can see fire while we do this. Payton & Jill were about an hour late – apparently they had some drinks and girl talk to have on the way.
Sinner: Wow, two for one, I’m honored, thank you for doing this.
Payton: You’re welcome, our pleasure, the fire is a nice touch.
Sinner: It’s a little warm for it, but I’m pretending there is winter here.
Payton: It’s nice. Jill, do you wish to speak?
Jill: Hey there whoever you should be, I’m at a concert right now, shhhhh. Yes, fire is nice, nice to meet you Duncan. (yea I know we met the other night but I was a tiny bit tipsy , doesn’t really count)
Payton: Tiny bit? Hon, you want to see your texts? you were so gone. It’s okay, you were hurting #noguilt
Sinner: You are at concert right now, what?
Jill: Yes, I’m bad & told a white lie, didn’t now how to explain to husband about going to do an interview at a man’s house who I met at a bar he didn’t now I was at — just easier to be at a concert.
Sinner: I see, it’s’ too bad you feel you can’t tell him the truth. Are you sure it’s okay – no hurt feelings at all if you want to call this off to be safe.
Jill: No, it’s fine, I would have lied anyway to go out with Payton anyway, so don’t worry it’s’ not your fault, I’m a bad girl all on my own.
Sinner: Well you both are looking hot & ready for the town, no doubt.
Payton: Thanks, we try.
Description of them (they can’t see this): Payton is wearing some tight designer jeans and a black “frilly” like blouse. Her hair is teased up above her head somehow and her her first two buttons are not buttoned, it’s a cleavage apocalypses around here. Jill’s wearing a black dress like one piece thing, form fitting, her boobs slapping my space in the face. It doesn’t look sleazy, but her dress is just a bit too slinky to conceal her bra strap. Both are glistening a bit – glossed in makeup. They look really good, could be trouble. I knew I should have jacked off earlier, but decided I might be more bold and make the interview more interesting if I didn’t. Looking like a bad decision. Having been 100% single for a bit now, my libido is unruly if not unpredictable.
Sinner: Okay, I announced this interview earlier four questions were submitted by readers, so let’s get the most offensive ones out of the way so you can storm out now if you’re gong to.
Question 1: “Ask them if they have ever done anything sexual together and ask if they will kiss with tongue so you can see?
Payton: Not that I wouldn’t if I was into that sort of thing because look at her she is freaking gorgeous but no, we like boys.
Jill: yuuuu are the gorgeous one sister, but what said we are strictly dickly. You’ll have to ask her about the kiss part I am fine doing ti.
Payton: I’ll do it bring it on over here, waz up.
Description: Jill gets up and walks around to other side of dining room table where Payton is sitting close to me on my right. I’m at the head of the table, overseer position. Jill throws her arm around Payton who remains seated and I have a perfect view as Jill dives down and plants her lips against Payton’s. They are gratuitous with their tongues, making sure I see. I’m impressed with their commitment to the task, I’m swelling up a little by the time they disengage after about a minute. Fuck me, this is going to be a very long or very short interview I’m thinking. Payton jokes and announces she thinks she might have had an orgasm. I’m starting to figure out that my readers come up with a lot better questions than I do. (thank you question submitter #1, you get a prize.)
Sinner: No shit, I think I might have had an orgasm too, that was way too hot, shame on you both, how dare you.
Jill: I thought it was quite nice, too much?
Sinner: hell no, I mean, I think you answered the reader’s question very well, thank you. Speaking of too much, here is the next reader question:
Jill has finished her drink (screw driver) and I ask her if she wants another while making her assure me she’s not going to have to drive. Payton’s drinking – slower – thankfully as she’s driving. That said, the little per-party they had was clearly effective.
Sinner: Okay, don”t be mad – I’m just the messenger, here is the next reader submitted question: “What is the worst thing they have ever done sexually like their sluttiest moment ever?”
Payton: Oh my, oh that is an awful question, who is this reader, can we talk too them.
Jill: Yes, hers is probably not bad at all, mine is really bad. Can we skip a question if we don’t want to answer? I don”t want to be a spoiled sport but I don’t know this one is bad.
Sinner: I appreciate how difficult of question this is; however, if you pick and choose what to answer, it lets down my readers and ruins the interview. That said, i understand if you wish to discontinue the interview and there will be no hurt feelings if you wish to stop.
I see they need a moment to process the question (holy shit good job question #2 submitter, you killed it) so I go use the rest room while they decide.When I get back Payton has responded with the following.
Peyton: Okay we’ll answer.
Sinner: You both are awesome, thank you – most everybody’s done something “bad,” at some point, have fun, no worries. So, I’ll let you answer and go make a drink.
I go into kitchen to shake a martini, and try to take my time until it sounds like they are done. It seems to take them a while, what the hell could their answers be? When I hear Payton yell “okay, we answered,” I return to the table.
Payton: I am very much straight and only into men now, but I had an affair with a friend, a girlfriend, while in college. It only lasted a few weeks and I was dating my ex husband at the time. I’ve only told one other person about this and never told him. This is hard, okay, I fell head over heels and she broke my heart. It was a strange time, I am not into that but something about her it devastated me.
As I read Payton’s answer, it is silent for the first time since they arrived. Her answer is unexpected – very brave of her to come forth with this. I feel bad for her, I must cheer her up – make her feel okay.
Jill: Mine is really bad and it is so not like me ask P, I’m a professional prude. but on my high school senior trip in Mazatlan I was drunk and had gone through a bad breakup with my HS bf and I one night i got with three guys. at the same time all of them had sex with me in their hotel room. I met them the same night and never saw them again.
It is still silent as I finish reading, fuck, I must say something to make everyone feel okay.
Sinner: Thank you both for your honesty, I thought it was something much worse by how quiet you all were – I’ve heard of much worse – hell, my sister used to have me show her friends my dick in junior high, we all have shit.
Why the hell did I just say that, fuck, I want to real that back in.
Jill: It actually feels sort of good to get that off my chest, thank whoever asked the question for me.
Sinner: For sure, they’ve got life time free anything I publish for the diary. And, you probably think a guy asked that, you’d be wrong.
Sinner to Payton: I’m sorry you had your heart broken. Have you been with another female since?
Sinner to Jill: Is it a traumatic memory – or was it rape or anything like that with the three guys?
Payton: God no, like I said I am not into that. If fact, kissing Jill here was the first time I have kissed a girl since.
Jill: No, it was consensual but cannot say I remember it very well.
Sinner: Really, you don’t remember three men at once very well? Do you have hot memories of it? Do you remember if you came?
Jill: Well I was drunk and it was fifteen years ago, I mean I remember it sort of i’m sure i probably came.
Sinner: you don’t remember if you had an orgasm while three guys were fucking you?
Jill: screw you, fine, yes i am pretty sure i did.
(the second half of this interview gets much much worse from here. I have decided to post thee first half and see how offended people are before posting the rest.)
Don’t do it.
Yes, I said it. which is to say, don’t break your vows or promises. If you’re in a sexless marriage, then get permission or get a divorce. Cheating is more about lying that it is about sex, and I believe lying is a sin, not sex.
There are hot stories to read – fantasy and masturbation is free – none of us have to worry about “not-cheating” ourselves to death.
I’m not judging – not looking to get struck by lightning, I’m just sharing my conclusion – based on the discussion so far.
Cheating: Issues, Questions & Implications of shifting attitudes towards marital infidelity.
Cheating Part II: How much flirtation is healthy and when does it become infidelity?
Cheating III: Sex in Head, Mental Infidelity
Cheating IV: Anatomy of Infidelity
Cheating Part V: Loopholes, Free Zones and Grey Areas.
Cheating VII: Time Warp Infidelity – Sex After or Before the Relationship?
Cheating 7: When You Stumble Upon Much Better Sex Outside Your Relationship
Cheating 8: Is it Really Sex or affection we Want or is Cheating a Settlement?
Cheating 9: Considering Special Features in Defense of Sexual Infidelity
Cheating 10: Looking for a bit of fun before spilling the beans
Cheating XI: How Not to Sleep With Married People
Interview with Payton
I needed to get out of the house and went to a local dive bar around 11pm tonight, and there I met Payton and her friend. One of the two is next to me at my kitchen table and agreed to do an interview. It isn’t early. Or, it’s really early.
Sinner: Hi Payton, thank you for braving an interview at this hour, are you ready?
Payton: Ready Freddy.
Sinner: It’s Duncan, but close enough. When did you last have sex?
Payton: Not a fan of foreplay?
Sinner: I am a fan of foreplay, this is it.
Payton: Well if this is your foreplay then..
Sinner: Exactly, contraceptives are recommended for the main questions.
Payton: Should I be scared or excited?
Sinner: You should be scared in a good way and excited in a bad way.
Payton: Well if you must know, the last time was a week ago Saturday. When did you last have sex?
Sinner: Who’s interviewing who here?
Payton: So I can’t ask questions.
Sinner: I had sex Wednesday, sort of.
Payton: What do you mean sort of?
Sinner: I had anal, I guess that counts.
Payton: My my, that might count double. I wonder how that came about? Sorry, I’ll stop asking questions.
Sinner: My ex girlfriend texted and asked if I wanted to fuck. I told her no, unless she wanted anal, then she could come over and I would. So she did and we did, and she left.
Payton: Sounds like that worked out well for you.
Sinner: It was torture, just trying to do my part. How did your last “experience” come about?
Payton: It was after a date with this guy. I wasn’t going to sleep with him but when he dropped me home, well you know, one thing leading to other things etc.
Sinner: wow, first date sex?
Payton: Third date sex.
Sinner: How would you describe the experience in one word? Amazing?
Payton: Maybe three minutes. Maybe.
Sinner: Was that enough?
Payton: Enough? Enough for him evidently.
Sinner: So you didn’t come?
Payton: In three minutes?
Sinner: So you didn’t, were you frustrated?
Payton: Not for long, took care of things as soon as he left.
Sinner: With a toy.
Sinner: So, you haven’t seen him since? Have you talked to him?
Payton: Have not seen him. He’s been texting everyday since. He wanted to go out tonight, but Jill (drunk pretty girl you met earlier) wanted to go out.
Sinner: So do you like him? Do you plan to keep seeing him?
Payton: Not sure, I don’t think so. He’s a bit too clingy..
Sinner: And then there’s the three-minute ish
Payton; If that, yes.
Sinner: How about before that? when was the last time?
Payton: Half a year ago, total catastrophe.
This should be good Why, what happened?
Payton: It was with this guy friend I’ve known since junior high. I think he always had a bit of a crush on me but I was never attracted to him. While I was married my ex and I would hang out with him on occasion. Sorry, kind of a long story, are you wanting short answers?
Sinner: No, fascinated, please finish, take your time.
Payton: Okay, after my divorce, Doug (the friend) was a shoulder to lean on. He was single but I still was not interested in anything romantic. I should have followed my instincts, but Doug was persistent and eventually persuaded me to give it a shot. Looking back I don’t know what I was thinking.
We had a kiss one night, nothing else, and soon after I relocated out-of-state for a new job. Doug and I continued to communicate long distance, and somehow or another we hatched a plan for him to fly out and visit, to have sex essentially. I had starte dto feel a little bit of attraction, and He talked a big game – seemed like he might know what he was doing at least, maybe it would be good. It was a bad idea, but he few out for a weekend and we went through with it as planned. We should have stuck with friendship, now it is weird, we have only talked once since.
Sinner: So what happened, the sex wasn’t good
Payton: Yes, was not good. Not only that, but was awkward and embarrassing, for both of us I think. The chemistry was definitely not happening.
Sinner: That sucks. What was bad about the sex, or did it just feel weird because you had been friends for so long? Did he smell? Was it another three-minute situation?
Payton: Pretty much everything that could go wrong did. For starters, Doug had some “stage fright,” (as he defined it) . He never fully got over the “stage fright,” so we fumbled around trying to get started. I was hoping maybe he would get over the stage fright once we go underway. As soon we got started Doug got up, he was in me I’d say not even a minute. I thought maybe he was frustrated about the stage fright or something. I asked him what was wrong, and said, nothing, “I came.”
In my mind, I was wondering what happened to the hours of passionate love-making he had texted me about. When did he come? He was not even hard and there were no clues that would indicate he was coming, we had not even moved, it was all very strange. I felt bad at first but it bothered me more as I thought about it.
My theory is that he has always wanted to get with me and figured he would say whatever he had to, and score even if it messed up our friendship. It was my choice too, but still, I felt he too advantage because he wanted to have sex regardless of the aftermath that he must have known would no be good.
Sinner: That sucks, sounds very disingenuous. Did you get any sexual pleasure out of the sex?
Payton: None. Hard to even call it sex, basically he put it in and unloaded.
Sinner: Wow. That might be the worst sex story I’ve ever heard.
Payton: The worst I’ve had.
Sinner: This is depressing, have you had any good sexual experiences.
Payton: There was one other when I got divorced that was good.
Sinner: So before Doug, you had good sex?
Payton: it was vacation sex, just a one time thing, but probably the best I have had. For sure the beset, actually. First new sex in eleven years, so that was part it.
Sinner: So your husband left you and then you went on vacation and got laid?
Payton: No, I left him. It actually happened before the divorce. Okay, let me explain. I discovered that my ex was having an affair and the other woman was a friend. I went on vacation with another friend to get some space from the situation and sort things out.
Between you and I, and everyone reading your blog who hopefully were not part of this, I was angry and wanted to hurt him back, so I did it as a revenge fuck. At the time I was thinking that I would have sex with someone to even the score, and then work things out with my husband on equal footing. I never saw the vacation guy again, but it did change my perspective. The next week I returned home and asked for a divorce.
Sinner: I’m sorry about your marriage, and your husband with your friend, that rough. It’s a fascinating story, not that it helps. So you intended to have revenge sex?
Payton: As bad as it may be, yes I did.
Sinner: Wow, did you tell your husband, ex?
Payton: I told him I slept with someone while I was “distraught and drunk” .. in truth it was a bit more intentional, again, that part is between us.
Sinner: That and the part about it being the best sex you ever had.
Payton: Yes, that part too.
Sinner: Was the vacation guy sex was better than it was with your husband.
Payton: No question, my ex was selfish , vacation guy was a giver… and gave, and gave. Lol.
Payton: (Payton is texting on her phone) Oh god, my friend Jill is checking on me, can’t believe she is still up. She says, “making sure your not chopped up in pieces. Hope I’m not interrupting anything? He’s cute, if I knew how to not be married for a an hour, I’d not be married all over it. I shouldn’t have said that, I’m drunk. Plus it’s true shhhhh.”
Sinner: I’m not blushing so don’t even. Tell her to come over, I know a way to not be married for an hour.
Payton: You do?
Sinner: No, lol, I wish I was a priest right now, I could temporarily dissolve here marriage. But as a priest I couldn’t fuck her, back to the drawing board.
Payton: She’s so drunk, her Nana died and they were close, she never gets like this.
Sinner: She’s hot.
Payton: She is beautiful, for sure.
Sinner: As are you.
Payton: That’s sweet, thank you. I’m cute, Jill’s gorgeous.
Sinner: Maybe, but you have bigger boobs. Speaking of which, we’ll need a photo of them to post with the interview, standard policy.
Payton: Kiss my ass, that’s your policy.
Sinner: Thank you for doing this interview, will you do a part 2 sometime?
Payton: Maybe, perhaps I can talk Jill into doing one with me
Sinner: That would be great, please do. Thank you.
Suggest questions to ask Payton during (hopefully) her followup interview
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