Exploring Our Orgasms – Let’s Have Some Private Talk About Coming

While we might give the male orgasm higher priority, there’s much more discussion about the nature of the female orgasms – more effort put forth to know the complexities and forms a woman’s orgasm can take. Are we mislead by how easy it is for a man to reach orgasm, or the obviousness of ejaculation, and closing the discussion too early? With women, is it possible we do the opposite – analyze the female orgasm to where we feel like we’d need a PHD to approach one?

The plan is to reverse the perspective a bit and hopefully improve our relationship with each others orgasming. Mostly, this is a reason to talk about our orgasms – which obviously, is fun.

I’ve come up with the following ten questions about orgasms. I’ve shared my own answers and invite everyone to share your own answers using the form I’ve included at the end of the post. You’re answers will be shared anonymously on this post. If you do not wish to be anonymous, feel free share your answers in a comment.

I totally understand that some may be here to read and not contribute – It’s my damn blog – my cross to bear after all. For those interested in sharing, please don’t be shy – your answers will absolutely make this discussion more interesting. Thank you. (see why I’m not in sales?)

These questions are ones that I thought might bring out some less common, and in some cases more private,  views of orgasm. As a secondary aim, I hope some questions will show the female orgasm as more accessible and approachable – and show some complexities about the male orgasm.

Q1. As an adult, what was the most unlikely orgasm you’ve had?
This might be a time when you had an orgasm doing something that you or others wouldn’t expect would cause you to orgasm, or it could be a situation that turned you on so much that you had an autonomous orgasms with little or no real stimulation. There must have been some romantic or sexual aspect – so just climbing a rope  and having an orgasm doesn’t count. If you’ve got a couple times that are both as unlikely, feel free to include them both.

My answer: I had an orgasm at work one time after my cube mate teased me to death one day. (story to be published). In college I got an erection while posing nude for a graduate student. She tried to break the tension by joking, “you’re not going to come are you because I need a heads up to get the right color ready.” I told her no, I wasn’t going to come as long as nothing touched it. The conversation lead to her conducting an experiment – she stroked her fingers two or three times – barely making contact – and I shot all over her studio floor. Good thing her husband wasn’t around.

Q2. What is the most unique, and possibly more secret, way you have made yourself orgasm?
This could be something you did once or twice in the past, or something that still do now and then to make yourself come. This could be something very subtle or something very crazy – something that would occur to people that you did – or something they’d never think you’d admit to.

My answer: probably what I’ve been doing lately when I’ve got time to do it – which is hands free masturbation. I just lay there and think myself into orgasm – it takes a while to happen – but the orgasms are ridiculously strong.

Q3. Including any lover you’ve had, what is the most interesting, crazy or unlikely thing that brought about your lovers orgasm when you did it? or they did it?
This might a phrase that you said, or something you did you their body – or your own.

My answer: One girlfriend, who was straight other wise, would come as soon as I commanded her to tell me that she wants to lick her best friends pussy. Lisa, my horny Asian ex who I met at a sushi restaurant (she was my server) – liked to watch me jack off and would orgasm when she saw me start to spurt.

Q4. Are you always silent when you are alone and orgasm while masturbating? If not, be totally honest and tell us what sound you make when having your orgasm?

My answer: Usually silent, but on occasion moan out when I’m particularly turned on and having super powerful orgasm.

Q5. When is the most interesting or crazy time you had an orgasm while with another person or in public but nobody but you knew about it?

My answer: This is a hard one to answer. There’s been many times around people that didn’t know about it, but always one that did. Okay, here’s one time. During high school I was on a family ski vacation in Sun Valley Idaho and we all went on a sleigh ride. There were a whole group of us on the ride – and we all were completely covered in blankets. It was very dark and quiet. My dad’s cousins wife was sitting next to me – she was was probably at least 15 years older than me – and she was hot. We were packed in tight so everyone’s arms were pretty much in their neighbors lap or on their leg.  So this  “aunt,” or “second removed cousin’s wife” had her arm resting on my leg and at some point her hand was close enough to my junk to be making some form of contact. She wasn’t grabbing or stroking, but against it, and I came my balls off in the sled surrounded by friends and family.

Q7. If you were alone masturbating and on the verge or orgasm, and someone walked in on you, would you let your orgasm happen, or try to clamp it off? Part b. Has this happened? If so, what did you do?
(Let’s assume it is someone that fits with your sexual preference – so if you like girls it is a girl that walks in, etc.)

My answer: For sure! Would likely make it much better. Parts b. I don’t remember having anyone walk in unexpectedly at the moment or orgasm, but had people present for it – and have been watched by someone who didn’t know I knew they were watching.

Q9. Don’t hold back, what is the most outrageous thing you’ve done or said while at the mercy of an orgasm?
We all have those times, or that one time, when in the minds of an exceptionally powerful orgasm we’ve let ourselves go and done something super crazy or nasty – relative to what we’d normally do at least? Perhaps something just slipped out involuntarily.

My answer: nothing much that I wasn’t already doing before starting to orgasm. Probably just moaning louder than I should have because people were in range to hear.

Q10. What have you been doing lately to achieve better orgasms?

My answer: interacting with readers and hands free masturbation as already mentioned.

I’ve told my secrets, now it is your turn. All answers will be shared anonymously. Thank you. (oh, and questions seven & eight have gone missing – has anyone seen them?)

(submitted answers are displayed below this form at bottom of post)

Anonymous Reader Answers

Anonymous Reader 1:

While on a long road trip, my ex & I pulled off to the side of the highway for a short nap. I dozed off in the passenger seat while he slept. I had an erotic dream (don’t remember the details) & woke up coming hard. He had no idea.

Question 2 Pressed up against the jets in a Jacuzzi- yum :). Haven’t had the opportunity in quite a while now, but it feels amazing.
Question 3 Most things that lead to their orgasms are pretty understandable & expected… but would have to say an old lover in this case. When we were pressed for time, we’d quickly masturbate together… he could go all day, until I said I was coming… he would come that very instant with me.
Question 4 On my own I’m quiet if I need to be, otherwise there is definitely some gasping & moaning… sometimes an ‘oh God!’ or two…
Question 5 I was recently fingered outside in a parking lot of a bar… squirted. Twice. I don’t think anyone saw, but I couldn’t help from making a little noise.
Question 6 I’d probably go for it… though the rhythm would likely be interrupted if I was startled.
Question 7 Well there’s the yelling of ‘fuck me!’ Which can be unexpected if I haven’t said it yet, and I just burst out with it before I come.
Question 8 Having way-the-fuck-better sex, and being open about what I want/need. Using a dildo instead of a vibrator.
Question 9 Alright… one of us got our numbers fucked up here…
Question 10 Lol. I think you deleted the naughtiest questions 😉
Your own thoughts on the topic ‘Thoughts’ babe… well I’m pleased to have some better answers now

Anonymous Reader 2:

Question 2 I really like rubbing up against things, even if I’m using toys I like to rub against something.
Question 3 One partner would come when I would tighten up while they were inside me, another one loved dirty talk and me telling them to come in my mouth because they weren’t allowed to do that with previous partners.
Question 4 When allowed, I’m always loud. Less so when I’m by myself, but if I can’t be loud I grit my teeth and I’d prefer not to do that.
Question 5
Question 6
Question 7
Question 8
Question 9 Mostly just an extreme amount of dirty talk. I can bite really hard too, claw down backs and grit my teeth if I can’t talk/groan.
Question 10 Trying to hold off on doing it *quite* so much. I’m a 3-4 times a day kind of gal, typically out of boredom but I’ve been forcing myself to wait lately and it’s been way better.


Anonymous Reader 3:

[The Sinner Saint Diary] Exploring Our Orgasms – Let’s Have Some Private Talk About Coming
I have two, both piercing related. About a year ago, a day or two after I got my vertical clitoral hood piercing, the piercing was still fresh and super sensitive, so when I was driving on a bumpy road, my piercing vibrated against my clit and I reached orgasm unexpectedly. A few months ago, I got a triangle piercing (piercing behind/beneath the clit), and I had to refrain from sex and I masturbation for a bit during the initial healing phase. I was a few weeks into not touching myself or fucking, and I had an orgasm dream. Not a sex dream, but a dream with no sex at all, just straight to orgasm. https://theboysiencounter.wordpress.com/2016/10/24/orgasm-dream/

Question 2 Lately, I have really been into the idea of fisting. Because my regular wasn’t quite into the idea of fisting, I have been attempting (I have yet to succeed) to fist myself and it has resulted in quick yet strong orgasms.
Question 3 There was a guy I never met in person, we just sexted a whole bunch. Well, one night, instead of sexting or skyping, he requested to call me, but not to talk, to just hear me breathing while I touched myself. He was already aware that I don’t moan/scream when I cum, he just wanted to hear the progression of my breathing. So when he called, I touched myself and he listened to me breath and he came. He claims he wasn’t touching himself, he just got off hearing my breathing get heavier as I orgasmed.
Question 4 Generally speaking, I am silent aside from my breathing getting heavier. However, there have been a few occasions I have let out slight sighs of relief if the orgasm was really strong.
Question 5 There have been quite a few instances, but the first was when I was in my early teens and I had several friends over for a slumber party. We were all sprawled out in the living room, I was wrapped in a blanket on the loveseat by myself. We were watching a movie, I can’t remember what exactly, but there was a sex scene, not even a raunchy one or even any nudity, but it got me wet. So while we are all still watching the movie, I reached down and rubbed my clit to full orgasm. To my knowledge, no one knew. It was quite exciting doing it like that in front of people without their knowledge, with the idea that someone could catch me.
Question 6 What’s question 6? I don’t see it.
Question 7 It depends on who it was and what their vibe was walking in. Like I would probably jump up at first, realize who it is and assess the situation. If the person was attractive and seemed like they’d be into it, I would keep going. If they too jumped and were thrown off guard, I would probably cover up and not finish. It’s never happened, but I think it would be a turn on if it did and they were into watching me or wanted to join.
Question 8 No question 8?
Question 9 I’m not one to say anything too out of the ordinary while fucking.
Question 10 Tease and denial. Hands down, when done properly, the orgasms are way stronger because the amount of time building it up.
Your own thoughts on the topic Overall, everyone has their preferences. It’s all about exploring yourself and being open to trying new things, you may discover some interesting ways to please yourself. Enjoy it 😉



Anonymous Reader 4:

I got the Christina piercing (hood of vagina). Being exposed and in pain in front of strangers was incredibly arousing. Once I got to my car I barely touched myself through my jeans for a minute or two and came.

Question 2 I sat on my grandparents old dryer to keep it from being so loud (I was baby sitting my cousin and she had just fallen asleep). I noticed it felt good, it took me about a cycle and a half to climax.. that was my first orgasm.
Question 3 He was going down on me while I told him about the sexcapes I’d had earlier.. He was touching himself but not full on jacking off. We had to change the sheets before we went to bed, I guess you could say I cucked him.
Question 4 If it’s really good sometimes I let out a moan, it’s like I can’t contain it.
Question 5 Concert, beau at the time made me squirt. I screamed but I don’t think anyone realized what was going on.. had dry cum on my leg the rest of the day.
Question 6 Is this a trick? I don’t see a 6 or an 8
Question 7 Totally
Question 8
Question 9 One time I screamed “Jesus, Mary and Joseph CHRIST” (I’m not religious) Another – my guy and I were doing a full swap and I proclaimed that his wife was going to eat his cum out of me..
Question 10 Different types of stimulation. A week ago I tried: a vibrating plug and a jack rabbit at the same time—it was an out of body experience.
Your own thoughts on the topic 2015 Cosmopolitan study which found that only 57% of women usually reach orgasm with a partner, while their partners climax 95% of the time, hats off you to for bringing up a taboo subject.


Thank you Everybody