Tinder Ashley Interview
I was on Tinder while out by myself having sushi for dinner last night, and she agreed to come over and have a few drinks and do an interview.
We’ve had about an hour to make each other’s acquaintance and get through a bottle of Markham. Just uncorked another and we’re here at my dining table. We’ll be passing the laptop for this one.
Sinner Saint: Thank you for coming over and doing this interview.
Instructions: How this works is, I ask you intrusive and shocking questions, and you see how many you can answer before you storm out my door in a fit of disgust and anger. A few of the questions were submitted by readers – so if you are particularly offended by one, it’s probably one of theirs.
Speaking of which, we’ll start with the most provocative question suggested by readers. “‘Did you come for an interview or did you really just want to get some dick?”
Ashley: Must the two be mutually exclusive?
Sinner Saint: So, you’re saying you wanted to do an interview and you wanted to get, um…
Ashley: I’m saying there’s room for both possibilities.
Sinner Saint. Got it. I think. So, you’re 37 years old, divorced and have one child, right?
Ashley: Yes, I have a daughter in Junior high who’s with her dad during the week and with me on weekends.
Sinner Saint: How long have you been divorced?
Ashley: Officially, the divorce is not final, but we haven’t lived together for two years.
Sinner Saint: So you kicked him out because his dick was too small?
Ashley: No, I left because he was an alcoholic and I was done dealing with it.
Sinner Saint: Sorry to hear that. So, his dick wasn’t too small?
Ashley: No, I didn’t have a problem with his size. As for erectile dysfunction due to the drinking, different story.
Sinner Saint: That sucks – for both of you. So, he couldn’t get hard anymore? How long was that going on? You were both pretty young for that to be happening.
Ashley: with enough effort I could usually get him hard enough to do something, but he couldn’t get a full erection and would lose it right away. It’s probably been five years or longer since I’ve seen him “full functioning” shall we say. He’s seven years older than I, but still, I know it was the drinking and not his age. Again, I left because of the drinking, the ED was just one of many problems it was causing.
Sinner Saint: Do you still get together and have sex now and then out of convenience when you’re particularly horny.
Ashley: Do we need to do a lesson on erectile dysfunction? Sorry, that sounded a bit bitchy, obviously I’m not bitter at all about it. (ha ha). He chose drinking at the expense of his equipment working.
Sinner Saint: Have you met up with other guys on Tinder? Did you fuck them? On the first date?
Ashley: I have met up with two I met on Tinder and one of them I had sex with.
Sinner Saint: Nice, how was that? Was it your first time back in the saddle after your and your husband split up?
Ashley: Yes, had been twelve years since I had been with anyone other than my husband, so that was exciting. There was some ED going on with him too, wouldn’t you know, but it wasn’t too bad.
Sinner Saint: Not too bad… does that mean you had orgasms while fucking him?
Ashley: I’ve never had much difficulty with that. I know some girls have a difficult time with it.
Sinner Saint: Okay, here’s two more questions suggested by readers. Reader Q 1: “Have you had any big black cock? Reader Q 2: “Look at Duncan and describe what you see ~ give us an overview or general impression?” Hmm, wonder which question was suggested by a guy and which from a female. LMAO. Love it.
Ashley: No “big black cock” as of yet, and let me see
He is dressed casually in a plain white t-shirt and jeans, and fancy shoes. He’s got gorgeous, deep blue eyes, and nice hair that is just slightly receding (no sign of balding). Hopefully that answers the question? He’s in good shape and quite handsome if that is what you’re asking.
Sinner Saint: I might not include this questions.
Ashley: Now he’s blushing.
Sinner Saint: Shut the fuck up.
Ashley: So sensitive. I’m just answering the questions YOU gave me.
Sinner Saint: Good point. I should have not given you it, but I didn’t want to be a dick and not ask questions that readers took the time to contribute.
Ashley: I thought it was good question.
Sinner Saint: Well I thought the “big black cock” question was particularly inspired.
Okay, one more reader question. “Describe the bra and panties you are wearing and show sinner your tits so he can take a pic so we can see them.”
Ashley: Are these really coming from readers?
Sinner Saint: Okay, that last one was me, but the others were from readers I swear.
Ashley: Oh you are bad. I am wearing white thong panties and just a white bra that I like, and sorry, I have a teenage daughter who doesn’t need to be running into nude pics of her mother on the internet.
Sinner Saint: Good point, totally understand. Shall we take a bathroom break, and we can discuss.. We could finish up tonight, or I’m free tomorrow night or Friday if you want to finish second half then?
Ashley: I have my daughter on Friday, but maybe tomorrow. We can discuss.
- The longer you wait to even kiss her, the more likely she’ll let you do anything.
- When you don’t know what to be, don’t be what you think she wants you to be, just be honest.
- Forget and ignore any sex scene you’ve seen or see in any movie . All fake, and not how you fuck.
- You must be able to last fifteen – twenty minutes, see me for training curriculum if necessary.
- If you want to be her best shopping friend, fuck her sensuously and passionately.
- If You want to make her come, fuck her hard and relentlessly.
- it’s communication and giving. You can kiss her cheek honestly or fail, drill her pussy like a masturbation accessory. You fake it – you lose.
- If she can’t come – it’s you, not her. Work it out, figure it out, or kiss her goodbye. fuck her like it’s life or death, because it is.
- Don’t talk about it. No, not even your best friends or fraternity buds. You reduce you and her if you do. If it’s worth mentioning, let her do so. Yes, you’ll compound your options by keeping exploits to yourself, but much more importantly, you’ll not be a stupid dick. understand?
- For the first round of life, money wins no matter how great you can fuck, or how much better other guys can, so focus on the money until you’ve found the best who will be your wife.
Why all the penis contact – Are women following new rules?
I’m not really complaining – let’s call this an inquiry.
Once upon a time, girls would hold back on making contact with a guy’s penis. So much so, it remained an open question whether or not they even wanted any such contact – or just shy about it – not wanting to come across to eager, slutty.
I’m mainly talking about behavior while making out – especially the first couple of times with someone.
The rules used to be, the girl wouldn’t touch a guy’s crotch area, until he touched her crotch first – or, at least until the he started feeling out her chest. Even then, a girl grabbing and feeling out a guy’s junk was more often second, or third date territory.
As is the case with the last four girls I’ve “interacted with,” old rules didn’t apply – dismissed without a nod or even a wave goodbye. All four dates went went for my crotch and proceeded to locate, touch, and fondle my dick before I had felt a boob or an ass cheek. Two of the four, after I’d let my hands get busy, initiated the next step – first to dive under clothing. There hands were on me – skin to skin – before I ventured up their shirt or inside their pants. (okay one had a skirt and I’d found her ass via the most logical route.) But still..
What changed that makes feeling out and rubbing a guy’s penis a standard component of the first make-out session? And, God bless them, why are women now unashamed about making the first move in that regard?
Perhaps it’s an age thing? – I haven’t made out with anyone under thirty in years, but it seems to be different even in the past few years. Has there been a change in cultural trends? Has Cosmo been running articles recommending a more aggressive, “dick first” attitude? Or, maybe Oprah had a guest on her show, who wrote a book about the advantages to early dicktection? Perhaps women are busier, have less free time and don’t want to ‘mess around” when they mess around? Could it be a practical matter – get some inspection in before wasting time on a second date?
What thoughts do you have? Men, have any of you noticed this too? How about you ladies, are you quicker to feel a guy’s crotch than you used to be? Any thoughts as to what has emboldened women, why the rules have changed and why women seem to be more comfortable initiating contact with penis?
Whatever-the-case, if women are more comfortable with penis contact, it’s probably a good thing despite the reason.