I’ve given her countless chances – spent a billion words of text – lapped myself bending over backwards – to help her be fair, and care enough to keep me around.
She can’t control herself – or didn’t believe I’d go for good – one or the other. I feel sad for her – that I blocked her and kept her there. But, it’s all probably just a game = no way to know where the game starts or ends, and I’ve wondered if she’s ever really feeling.
It is lonely either way – but I have to stay gone this time – force myself to adjust to freezing cold. Must not go back to being coldly dangled, under a carrot – over fire.