Loose Page Fell out of Diary – No Date On it – So Placing Here.

Infidelity is like one of those people you meet  – who breaks the molds of anyone you’ve known before – so you’re not quite sure about them at first. They’re either really smart and playing it brilliant, or real dense and not getting it at all – when you first meet them, you can’t tell which. If smart, wouldn’t it mean they’re deceptive as well? How else could someone so smart leave it to anyone’s guess as to whether they’re a dunce or clever – to be pitied or feared. Sometimes you draw when you could have laid down – to avoid the risk when it’s not certain if they’re bluffing. Maybe they don’t even see their own hand, but what if it’s you who’s missing what game they’re playing?

Does the cheater do it only for the power? It’s a dark truth, if we cheat, we grab the power – it’s an entirely unjust acquisition. Now we control what both sides know. Now the truth is ours to administer upon the others,  control them with. We are the gatekeepers of truth about all the stuff we’re doing, and all the stuff our lovers will, or will not be knowing.

And it’s bad, dreadful, drastic – to be on the cheated side, but even worse for the accessory to the cheating., When we’re the other – the cheater’s lie, we indirectly undermine our lover’s spouse – standing by as the cheater lies to a person who doesn’t even know we exist – let alone ever done us any harm. The guilt can weigh heavy and such choices make very little room for sympathy.

When serious people defy what they know is right, it’s a bloodbath inside. Fighting oneself is always a losing battle.The strongest are capable of doing the most damage – especially to themselves if that’s who they end up at odds with.

But it’s a fool’s errand, to own-to-death so much guilt about a situation where you’re just the other, the farthest from center – the least in the know – and cheapest for getting into a situation where you’ve got the least of anyone to gain.

The cheater always wins, unless, and until, they lose someone and get their own heart broken.

 

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God and afterlife was the last illusion to go.

God and afterlife was the last illusion to go.
Life with no illusions is hell on earth.

The tooth-fairy and Easter Bunny,
Santa Claus, Lie
Lie, Lie, Lie

Grandparents and Puppy Dogs
Someone’s Mom, Gone
Gone, Gone, Gone

Soul Mate and Celebrity,
Notoriety, No
Show, No-Show

Youth and Time,
Hope, Die
Die, Die, Die

If it is not a lie
If it ever Shows
It will Die
or it will go.

But there’s God right? There’s that deep certainty that keeps you barely transcendent
The first, deepest pillar of our confidence, thank god our religion was the real one
We have this gift of faith. It is why we are going to be okay while others may die
It’s why our future will work out and nobody we love will ever become nothing, die

Then your Grandparents and everyone you knew in their generation die
Then Your parents get ready to die and a few of your friends Die
Animals die and you learn that all the brain parts and parts that make you, you
and the memories stored in your brain of everything you do, die

Then those who were supposedly the ones who did not lie, your link to the sky
Have raped and molested little boys, did they confess? Hell no, they ran
Those that are supposed to be in the most know about God, rape boys
And you’re supposed to believe they really believe in God? Heaven?

There is zero proof of an afterlife and life after death defies all science and comprehension
memories are stored in the brain, this has been proven
So, if you’re in some afterlife and you have no memory of them, you, us
Then you have no self, no identity and no awareness of what it is that remains

There has not been one truly miraculous thing that has ended up real,
Including everything that you have ever come across that seemed magical,
It always ends up a lie or a dream and ultimately, very human and unremarkable.
To dust and wind do fade all the signs of heaven and anything divine..

There’s not a single thing that has ever been found or past down
That has any power beyond us mortal humans walking around.

God and Heaven are the deepest, most important, illusions to go
By the time it finally becomes impossible to believe in God and religion
Everything of lesser importance has already gone, never was
There’s no more magic, nothing else, no more surprises

Life is a nightmare and a horror Show
When there is no trick strong enough
To convince your mind to believe in god
Or make you believe that heaven’s a go.