Dr G certified psychologist dissection/interview: Savior, Phallus complex, Marriage, non Marriage

Dr G:: interview

Okay, this is a risky interview for both parties. In order to get Dr G to agree to this interview, I actually had to agree to terms in writing – first time.

  • She was guaranteed full final approval of all content and redaction – redaction have been noted.
  • There must be no subsequent disclosure without full consent.
  • Dr G reserved the right to pull the interview at anytime before or after publication.

These terms were completely understandable and fair. The Dr. has a well known practice,  and is taking risk on behalf of contributing to my blog. It might be my undoing, but I immensely appreciate the Dr for her professional, unique and consequential contribution the SSD blog.

SS: Thank you for taking time to do this. Would you please introduce yourself and what you do?


Dr G: Thank you, I can say this is a first for me. I am a wife and mother to three children, two in high school and one just completing her first year of college. I am a board certified couple & family psychologist. in private practice. [redaction]

SS: Did you read anything on my blog before this interview.

Dr G::: All of it.

SS: Uh oh. And your thoughts – why are you doing this interview despite reading “all of it?”

Dr G: Well, it’s an entertainment blog, right? I find it entertaining. I’m not sure if many of those who read the blog meet you first, but that was an interesting factor – this nice unobtrusive gentleman with these sexual admonitions. You make it clear that you speak from a layman’s perspective and, unlike I’ve seen by some others online, you’re discussing and not advising. That said, measured against the cases I’ve treated, I find your anecdotes or “on the ground in the field” research highly plausible. The stories you speak of are either true, or you’re an experienced psychologist or an exceptionally perceptive artist, whichever the case, I’d say there’s value in what you’re saying.

SS: So you don’t find the sexual parts “true to form?”

Dr G.: Therapy usually doesn’t get as sexually explicit, or specific. It’s probably part of what makes your tails interesting, they include the hidden and forbidden parts of the story.

SS: So, you don’t discuss explicit or specific sexual matters with your patients?

Dr G.: Sometimes, but more often the parts that hurt or are problematic are addressed, as opposed to those aspects most provocative and stimulating shall we say. [redaction here]

SS: I gave you the option to do this interview over text if you wanted and you chose to do this in person, why? I’m glad you did BTW, just curious?

Dr G: Primarily to get my little contract signed and felt I would have more control over the publishing, or non-publishing process. Secondarily, I figured we might as well keep it real and here I get to see your collection of musical instruments and your art.

SS: So you read “all of it,” you say, you didn’t read my first publication Dare did you?

Dr G. I said all of it, yes I purchased and read “Dare”

SS: Wow. But, thank you very much for doing so – I would have of course sent you a copy for free – you’ve got a life time membership to the Sinner Saint Diary series now. So, I’m afraid to ask, but based on everything you’ve read – can you give me a non-binding, off the record, off the cuff psychological summary or profile of me?

Dr G. : If I had a month to do so. Kidding. Let’s be clear this is premature, non-professional and as you say “non-binding.” There’s the most obvious, apparent commitment issues. I’ve met you and there’s no perceivable reason other than your psychology why you haven’t married or had more long term relationships. You seem to have a strong desire to rescue, a “savior complex” of sorts. I get the sense that you feel you’ve harmed, or let someone be harmed, and you have a compulsion to undo or make up for it. I suspect your guilt is out of proportion and you’ve judged yourself too severely. Then there’s the “elephant in the room,” a pronounced phallus-related complex. Perhaps you have failed or feel insecure about accomplishing your “saving” people with your mind? Or, have a perception of inadequacy about your intellectual desirability? Or, perhaps you feel inadequate physically, so you compensate through your stories? Could be many reasons, but the fact that your genitalia play such a role, seems a pointer baring a degree of psychological significance.

SS: What an answer, thank you for not giving some safe, “I’d need more info,” answer. I feel dissected and revealed – but I asked for it. So, this penis complex I have, that’s tough love, but fair enough, I’d like to get to the bottom of that. Clinically speaking, would it help narrow down the possible root of the complex if you’d seen my “phallus?”

Dr G: It may have eliminated one or two possibilities, but we could probably  understand the fixation with some discussion.

(It’s’ embarrassing enough to be hearing about this “phallus complex” I supposedly have, not going to give the inadequacy theory any oxygen. Here in the interview I walked over to the kitchen to grab the wine bottle for refills – and briefly flashed my dick to Dr G on the way.)

Dr G.: Okay, new data, what time might be saved if I’d had a photo of certain patients nude. Kidding. Do you not tend to feature your phallus prominently as compared to other aspects in many of your stories, and if so, why do you suppose that is? Aside from the obvious reason.

SS: Simple reasons. One, as told in my stories, my phallus gets mentioned and participates. Two, it turns me on to experience and also write about my phallus getting attention or turning anyone on. Three, I know anatomy is shallow to acknowledge and supposed to be inconsequential, but some situations – some stories – involve the phallus – a few even revolve around it.

Dr G: Perhaps we can describe it as more of a “fetish,” than a “complex?”

SS: You’re the Dr, you tell me.

Dr G:i want to re-read everything in light of new discoveries.

SS: So, couple and family psychology, does that include sex therapy?

Dr G: Yes. I wrote a thesis related to that. [redacted]

SS: Do I need therapy?

Dr G: That depends, do you feel you need it? You seem to be happy and high functioning, but that’s your decision not mine.

SS: Who goes to sex therapy and for what purpose?

Dr G: Often sex therapy is a component of a larger scope of therapy. Or, sex related issues are a symptom, cause or component of a larger scope of treatment. And then there’s cases involving sexual abuse, addiction and dysfunction. Some of your stories are pertinent in that they describe the straightforward facts, without the baggage, of the reality some experience. It’s’ human nature for people to be selective with their truth, and your stories tell the parts that I infer. Not that some who I counsel aren’t open an explicit.

SS: Okay, I know you can’t divulge specific cases, but in general, what are some more common sex related issues that you’ve seen or treated?

Dr G: Infidelity. Sexual dysfunction. Sexual incompatibility or problematic fetishes. Sexual compulsion. Hypersexuality, although I don’t see all hypersexuality as pathological. I’ve seen those who have a clearly deleterious pathology to their sexual compulsions, and those that are like you seem to be, hypersexual, high-libido without derangement or personal distress or impairment in social, occupational or other areas of functioning associated with the frequency and intensity of these sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior. Perhaps, being aware of your “hypersexuality” (if you have such), you deliberately avoided commitment as opposed to committing to someone knowing you would inevitably be unfaithful? If so, I commend you for that, but have you considered any non-traditional options? A partner open to poly-amorous agreement perhaps? I mention this only because I get the sense you are sacrificing much for your nature, for the sake of your integrity. I’ll stop there, you’ll have to be a paying customer to get more.

SS: Well that’s good. You don’t find my “hypersexuality” to be pathological and crazy? That’s a relief. No, I get what you’re saying. I don’t think I’m that hypersexual actually, I’m a normal, healthy guy who likes women and sex, yes. Okay, a little hypersexual yes, but not as much anymore. When I was a teen and in my early to mid 20s it was a different story. There was no pill to calm such a libido. Thank god for my parents and the education they gave me – I’d be dead or in big trouble long before now if they’d not informed me as they had. I’m lucky to be alive and healthy as it were. But, as my stories have or will detail, things were crazy. Would you like to see my “phallus ” erect so you can rule out erectile dysfunction as the reason I have my phallus complex?

Dr G: No, I will completely take your word on that. You’ve proven enough, let’s leave that one for my, and reader, imagination.

SS: So, did Dare or any of my stories turn you on? Did you like them? Or, was it purely a clinical read?

Dr G: I said I found them entertaining. You’re a smart man, I think you can read the subtext in that.

SS: True, the subtext I read was that it turned you on, you masturbated over it, and contributed to the reason you chose to do this interview in person.

Dr G: I won’t confirm or deny that statement.

SS: OMG, you read my blog or my book Dare and actually masturbated during or right after reading?

Dr G: Again, I won’t confirm or deny.

SS: Wow, despite my phallus and savior complex, I encouraged you to get off? Awesome, good to know even Doctors get off.

Dr G: [redacted]

SS: I really hope you don’t cut that out of the interview.

Dr G: 100% I will cut that out of this interview.

SS: damn.

Dr G: Sorry, you agreed to rules. I’d let that stay if not for the obvious identifier.

SS: I know. So, how is your sex life with husband, is it perfect because you’re an expert?

Dr G: of course not, no relationship, marriage or sex life is perfect.

SS: In what ways is it not perfect?

Dr G: We are normal and imperfect as all couples are. We’re in our forties, the Cialis isn’t always effective, he’s overweight and I’ve worked harder to maintain my appearance. However, when I was pregnant and our kids were young, his sexual needs were not met like he’d have liked and yet he stuck in there with me. Marriage is a contract not a perfect solution. We agreed not to quit or leave each other, better or worse.

SS: Well, you’re a woman who stuck by her word, I admire that.

Dr G: Yes I have.

SS: Can we kiss though?

Dr G: Sure.

([redacted description])


I hope everyone enjoyed this one of Kind interview. I cannot thank Dr G enough for participating. Thank You.

Please comment and let me know if you enjoy such content or suggest how I might make this blog more meaningful.

Thank you.

Valerie I: In Person Interview

Interviewee: Valerie
Interviewer: Duncan
Location: Duncan’s house

What: I met Valerie at a writer’s meet-up. She is working on a fiction novel – non-erotica – and was curious to see what I was up to with The Sinner Saint diary project, so I invited her over to do this interview for the blog.

How: I am trying a new method with this interview: We are both sitting at my dining room table – I’m in front of my laptop and will be asking questions to her phone through google voice – and she’ll be answering on her phone. I’m hoping it will be a little easier than passing the laptop back and forth as I’ve done with past interviews.

Visual: (Valerie is a woman in her early thirties. She’s 5’ 7” tall, has long and straight black hair – has some black Irish in her ancestry. Valerie is wearing medium amount of makeup – mainly on her lips and around where eyes – which are a beautiful, piercing green, She has an average build, and overall, very attractive.


The Interview

Getting Started

Duncan: Welcome Valerie, what in the hell possessed you to come do this interview?
Valerie: Would you recommend I leave?
Duncan: I’d recommend you have some wine.
Valerie: Okay I’ll stay. Lol

(pause: gets wine)

Duncan: The wine should make this easier. Fair warning, I try to ask personal – even shocking questions – to keep interviews interesting; plus, as I’ve mentioned, this blog is for a series of erotica books. So, I want to try to ask some questions related to the genre.  if there’s any areas you wish me to avoid, please tell me now.
Valerie: Shocking questions? I’ll try to answer – no promises. As I said, I won’t answer any questions that might reveal my identity.
Duncan: I understand. Let’s cover the basics – age, marital status?
Valerie. I’m thirty three and divorced.

The Ex

Duncan: How long divorced?
Valerie. Officially, almost a year.
Duncan: Why did you get a divorce?
Valerie: Long story. Basically got tired waiting for my ex to grow up.
Duncan: Ah, he couldn’t get it up.
Valerie: No, he couldn’t get a job, lol. He was fully employed, in total, maybe two of eight we were married. It wasn’t just the not working, but all of it boiled down to him not taking responsibility. I would like a child but I wasn’t going to have a child with a child. I might have stuck it out longer, but the last year we were together after he lost his last job, he started drinking. It would make me furious to work all day and get home to find that he’d been drinking half the day.
Duncan: That sucks. So he could get it up though?
Valerie: Usually.
Duncan: was the sex awesome?
Valerie: With husband? I’d not say it was awesome, no.
Duncan: But it was really good you’re saying?
Valerie: No, lol, not really saying that either.
Duncan: What are you saying.
Valerie: Well it wasn’t good enough to keep me around, obviously. I mean, wasn’t worth dealing with all the other stuff.

Sex after Divorce

Duncan: Have you had sex since divorce?
Valerie: Ah… once. It was “rebound sex,” mistake.
Duncan: How was it?
Valerie: Forgettable.
Duncan: So, you’ve only had sex once in the year you’ve been divorced?
Valerie: Just once, shortly after the divorce went through, and haven’t even really dated until fairly recently. Vowed to get back out there and meet some new people this year – hence going to the meetup.
Duncan: How’s the dating going?
Valerie: Have gone on a few first dates, not a second if that answers your question.
Duncan: Have you slept with your ex since divorced?
Valerie: No. I’ve gotten a few late night, drunken phone calls from him wanting to. Once or twice I was tempted, but been down that road, not going back.

Duncan: If this was a date, would I get a second?
Valerie: Since it’s not a date, can’t really say. So far, I wouldn’t rule out a second non-date, how’s that?
Duncan: Second non-date, score, almost as good – half the pressure
Valerie: Relax, there’s still time to piss me off and blow this non-date.
Duncan: Do you ever get naked on first non-dates?
Valerie: I haven’t got naked on any first actual dates.

Duncan: Have you purchased any erotica books?
Valerie: Can’t say I have.
Duncan: Well, I’m gifting you the entire Sinner Saint Diary series for doing the interview.
Valerie: Cool, very generous of you.

Duncan: Was your husband your first?
Valerie: No.
Duncan: Who else was there?
Valerie: High school boyfriend and a few guys in college before I met my ex.
Duncan: a few?
Valerie: Three.
Duncan: So four guys, and your ex had the most money and biggest dick so you married him?
Valerie. No, None of them had much money, were all students. My high school boyfriend was probably the biggest, but no, didn’t marry ex for his penis or bank account. Not sure why I married him exactly. If we’re to be totally honest, I had graduated and he proposed, and I felt like it was the next thing I should do – probably married for the wrong reasons.

Challenge Round

Duncan: Okay, it’s time for the challenge round, then we’ll wrap this up.
Valerie: Challenge round?
Duncan: The challenge round is where I ask you short answer questions, each on getting more difficult and personal than the last, and you see how far you can make it – before declining to answer. If you make it through all fifteen, you become the reigning challenge champion.
Valerie: What’s the farthest someone has gone?
Duncan: Don’t know, first time I’ve done it.
Valerie: Lol, okay. Guess I’ll be setting the bar.

Duncan: 1. Are you shaved, or how are you groomed?
Valerie: Groomed.
Duncan: 2. Landing strip?
Valerie: Small patch – I had permanent hair removal, on my legs too.
Duncan: So you never have to shave?
Valerie: Nope, it’s wonderful.
Duncan: 3. What color is your pubic hair?
Valerie: Same as my normal hair.
Duncan: 4. Ass hair removed too? Did you get that bleached?
Valerie: No and No.
Duncan: 5. Objectively rate your ex’s looks on scale of 1 to 10.
Valerie: 6.8
Duncan: 6. Given the following four qualities – intelligence, attractiveness, sense of humor, penis size, rank them in order of importance for each of the following: one night stand, someone you were dating, someone you marry.
Valerie: one night, attractiveness, penis size, sense of humor, intelligence. Dating, sense of humor, attractiveness, penis size, intelligence, married, intelligence, sense of humor, attractiveness, penis size
Duncan: 7. Do you miss having sex – since it’s been almost a year right?
Valerie: Yes.
Duncan: 8. Do you masturbate a lot, how often?
Valerie: Are we at 15 yet? Lol. Lately, more often, a few times a week I’d say.
Duncan: 9. Do you use a toy? When did you buy it, describe it in detail.
Valerie: Yes, I had a little vibrator already but mainly use a rabbit one that I bought last year, eight or nine months ago. It is red and typical rabbit shape if you’re familiar.
Duncan: 10. Is it shaped like a penis?
Valerie: Yes, the last one I bought is. With an added clit stimulator thing.
Duncan: 11. When did you last have anal sex?
Valerie: Hello. Ah, it’s been a couple years.
Duncan: 12. Do you like a finger in your ass during intercourse?
Valerie: Depends, sometimes I guess.
Duncan: 13. Is this interview turning you on.
Valerie: It’s a bit titillating.
Duncan: 14. Which of the following fantasies do you find the hottest: sex with another girl, sex in “public” with other adults watching, sex with two guys at once double penetrating?
Valerie: Sex with two guys.
Duncan: 15. Have you thought (fantasized) about that?
Valerie: Sometimes.

Wrap-up

Duncan: You did it, great job.
Valerie: Don’’t know I would have made it to twenty at that rate.
Duncan: It will raise to twenty the second interview, would you considering doing another next week?
Valerie: Yes, I’d consider it
Duncan: So, yes you will then? 🙂
Valerie: Okay, not sure what’s left to ask though.
Duncan: There’s a world of things I haven’t asked.
Valerie: If you say so.
Duncan: So.

Duncan: Thank you very much for being a good sport and sharing so openly. I look forward to round two next week.

Valerie: It was fun, thank you.

HELL NO! YOU Do not want to skip this post: Sinner Saint vs Duncan

The Definitive Sinner Saint Interview With Duncan who is the Sinner Saint.

Interviewer: Sinner Saint

Interviewee: Duncan Lory aka The Sinner Saint

Sinner: So your real name isn’t Sinner Saint then?

Duncan: Well I can see already that I’m going to have a hard time slipping anything past you. That is true. As believable as Sinner as a first name sounds, perhaps almost as believable as “Saint” for a last name, my birth name isn’t Sinner Saint. I am known by the writing upon my birth certificate as Duncan Lory. Some have come up with variations for me. D-Lo, D-Lorious, Druncen Story.

Sinner: How tall are you:

Duncan: 6 feet 1/2 inches. why? you’re not getting gay with this interview already are you?

Sinner: Typical Cis insensitivity. Perhaps we need to take a moment and check our Cisgendered, heterosexual, white, male privilege?

Duncan: Perhaps we should invert our dicks and do this interview in black face?

Sinner: Oh good idea. I’m sure with a bit of misogyny and racism sprinkled in, your readers will be compelled to an even greater appreciation for what you have to say.

Duncan: Why is it impossible to have a fucking conversation with myself without this kind of bitterness? Is your sarcasm self loathing or is it the loathing of any kind of self loathing?

Sinner: Self doubt is necessary. If there’s not some loathing of yourself, as there are things to loath about everyone, then there would really be something seriously loathsome about you. The sarcasm reassures us that we are loathing ourselves to the extent any truly non-loathsome human being would.

Duncan: What your saying is probably total bullshit, but it sounds good enough to, for now, substitute in for any resentment I have towards you and doubts I’m having about myself.

Sinner: I notice your blog didn’t get a single page few today. I believe that’s the least amount of attention you’ve received since creating the blog. How do you feel about that?

Duncan: I feel it is discouraging but I am not discouraged. To be discouraged would be to place all the blame on the reader or to blame fate and deny its inherent neutrality. To be discouraged would be to surrender: declare that I have exhausted all my power, given all I could give and done all I could do. I need to do more, give more. bleed more and risk more. So I am speaking with you. With this interview, I am demanding a braver truth for my  readers and increasing the cost I can expect to pay for their interest and attention.

Sinner: Well, your bullshit sounds as good as mine, so,  let’s run with it. Who was it who said that truth is relative and just different levels of bullshit; and, that, life is just a matter of choosing a level and flavor of bullshit and sticking with it? Was it Vonnegut?

END OF PART 1 OF 2