Want to know people’s actual thoughts and secret desires? here’s how

I am intrigued by what people actually think and do (when not judged – if the “real” truth be known).

Reading blogs is a great way to catch a glimpse of people’s truth – it”s what makes blogs great.

But, most do not create an online blog and share their most honest, intimate truths; even us who do, we are not totally anonymous and have boundaries. I doubt there’s any blogger on earth that shares every single truth – is 100% “honest.” Let’s face it, the most open and honest among us are constrained by what society and culture will tolerate – let alone our friends and families if they happen upon our blogs.

I have created an anonymous poll site in search of true answers and honest statistics regarding some of the more sensitive topics and aspects of our lives. The site is NaughtyPolls.com and I originally introduced the project on this blog post.

If you are curious about people’s true opinions and the actual reality of people’s lives, I ask you to enjoy NaughtyPolls.com  – AND – help in the effort to get the site off the ground. What will make it interesting and attract visitors is poll results – but, to get this going, we need to get some answers submitted – chicken or the egg sort of thing. I could kick start the site by injecting a bunch of fake answers and participation stats – like most every other poll-type site does – but that would defeat the purpose.

A lot of thought and development time has been invested in how to fashion this project in a way that we’d get real, honest, true results. When you check out  the site- you will see there aren’t 1000s of respondents (fake data) nor any advertisements.

You will notice on most poll sites (which are boring anyway because they don’t dare to get naughty).. there are advertisers. Also, you will notice that they ask you identifying information before you start participating – this is so they can correlate your answers with their advertisements, or sell your id info along with correlated answers to businesses etc.

Naughtypolls.com does not have this model. Hell yea It would be great (miraculous god send) if I ever made money on the site, BUT, if that were to happen it would not involve infringing on privacy. How do you know? Naughtypolls.com does not ask for your email, your name, or any other personally identifying information. The site does use IP address as a means to this end – as an alternative to collecting email or other identifying info – yet  keep track of what polls people have answered and to prevent duplicate answers – and remember people’s gender (poll results are tabulated by gender).

So, if you too are interested in knowing what people really think and do – and want to discover the true answers to questions society frowns upon us asking – let alone answering, I welcome you to visit naughtypolls.com and answer some polls.

Thank you all for helping me get this idea off the ground. I welcome any suggestions you might have regarding the website or questions you wish to see added.

 

Thank you

Cheating III: Sex in Head, Mental Infidelity

Can we cheat with our thoughts?

In thought, should commitments be honored, boundaries observed? Or, are we released from all rules and obligations? Thoughts about others may be unavoidable: should we at least try to be faithful in our thinking?

When people masturbate, I wonder how many fantasize about others instead of their spouse or partner. Who do you have on your mind during alone time? Does anyone only thinks about their significant other? What if you include your partner in a fantasy, but she’s being eaten out by a friend named Rosa, who’s calling you “Daddy” as you fuck her from behind and sing the song El Paso, by Marty Robbins, using her braids as reins. For example.

Do you think it is cheating to think about others? What if the other person you fantasize about is someone your partner knows – friend, sister… or, maybe once or twice her mother, Jackie, who maybe has huge tits and dresses like a stripper? If everyone is fair game in our fantasies, is it okay to occasionally imagine during sex  that our partner is someone else? Exactly – perhaps the notion that we can cheat with our mind isn’t so ridiculous


Our thoughts need some room to wander, but should some boundaries be expected? Let’s look for boundaries in a few real life examples.

In my recently published book Dare, my friend Sean makes his fiancée Lisa tell us one of her fantasies. Sean had been trying to convince her to tell him one of her most secret and naughty fantasies; she finally gave in and wrote one down for him as a birthday gift.

(Moral of that story: be sure you’re prepared for what you pry open – there’s usually reasons why people keep something secret, especially if it has to do with sex.)

Anyway, the fantasy was bad – and worse, the leading man in Lisa’s fantasy was some other man. (Not just dirty bad, but – you might come just reading it bad – which might be good.) The man of her fantasy was just imaginary, but he wasn’t Sean – bore no resemblance even.

It would be a stretch to call it cheating – sex with an imaginary person during a scenario merely imagined. It wasn’t the particulars of the story that bothered Sean. The fighting came after he learned how much use it was getting: Sean had wanted a real fantasy that Lisa had, but this one  was being had often – more often than not it was her go-to for masturbating.

Can it be a matter of frequency? Is it assumed that we all fantasize now and then, but if we’re re-imagining a fantasy with another, routinely, are we betraying our partner? Do we do our partner wrong, neglect them in mind, if we’re distracted by thoughts of another? Is Lisa cheating on Sean – having an affair of sorts with this fantasy she revisits?


The following incident took place during my little sister’s wedding reception. I had known many of the guests most my life – my parents have a large circle of longtime friends – and I grew up knowing their kids. One of these kids, a guy we’ll call “Chad,” was at the wedding along with his parents and his new wife.

I was at Chad and his wife Carrie’s wedding about six months before. I had met Carrie a few times before their wedding, probably at some other friend’s wedding, but had never hung out with her and Chad. But on the night of my sister’s wedding, I spent most my time talking to them. Later in the evening Carrie confronted me. I must have been returning from the bathroom or a walk, because she caught me alone: nobody close enough to hear us talking.

Whatever her exact words – she communicated that not only did she wish she could jump my bones – she wished it would have been me she married. This was not drunken flattery or comments said in jest: God knows why she didn’t keep it to herself, but she was dead serious.

So, aside from a dance or two, Carrie had no contact with me physically. Her hands weren’t on me but her mind was – according to her she was “having thoughts about me all night that she shouldn’t be having” – so quickly forgetting the husband she just married. Yes, they was only thoughts, but did her thoughts become infidelities when she told them to me? Or, perhaps they’d have been even if she had kept them to herself?

Could it be that whatever goes on in our own mind, is only free of judgement so far as it stays there?

I think Carrie betrayed her husband Chad. I guess it wasn’t “cheating,” but I’d say she was unfaithful.

(Incidentally, what my sister’s husband’s cousin did in my pants. after sneaking away from her fiance… well, sure as hell that was cheating. But that’s a whole other story.)

I look forward to reading your comments about this topic. Do you think there are any circumstances where mere thought can be cheating? Do you think about your partner or others when you pleasure yourself? Does it make a difference how often we think about others, or whether we think about a real person or someone imaginary? Is it worse if one fantasizes about their partner’s best friend or sister? Do we owe more accountability to thoughts we let someone know about?


Cheating Series Past Installments:

Cheating: Issues, Questions & Implications of shifting attitudes towards marital infidelity.

Cheating Part II: How much flirtation is healthy and when does it become infidelity?

Cheating III: Sex in Head, Mental Infidelity

Cheating IV: Anatomy of Infidelity

Cheating Part V: Loopholes, Free Zones and Grey Areas.

Cheating VII: Time Warp Infidelity – Sex After or Before the Relationship?

Cheating 7: When You Stumble Upon Much Better Sex Outside Your Relationship

 


If you enjoy reading sexually arousing stories that are also thought provoking, you’ll love reading Dare, the first publication of the Sinner Saint Diary series. Click here for book info previews on Amazon.