Loose Page Fell out of Diary – No Date On it – So Placing Here.

Infidelity is like one of those people you meet  – who breaks the molds of anyone you’ve known before – so you’re not quite sure about them at first. They’re either really smart and playing it brilliant, or real dense and not getting it at all – when you first meet them, you can’t tell which. If smart, wouldn’t it mean they’re deceptive as well? How else could someone so smart leave it to anyone’s guess as to whether they’re a dunce or clever – to be pitied or feared. Sometimes you draw when you could have laid down – to avoid the risk when it’s not certain if they’re bluffing. Maybe they don’t even see their own hand, but what if it’s you who’s missing what game they’re playing?

Does the cheater do it only for the power? It’s a dark truth, if we cheat, we grab the power – it’s an entirely unjust acquisition. Now we control what both sides know. Now the truth is ours to administer upon the others,  control them with. We are the gatekeepers of truth about all the stuff we’re doing, and all the stuff our lovers will, or will not be knowing.

And it’s bad, dreadful, drastic – to be on the cheated side, but even worse for the accessory to the cheating., When we’re the other – the cheater’s lie, we indirectly undermine our lover’s spouse – standing by as the cheater lies to a person who doesn’t even know we exist – let alone ever done us any harm. The guilt can weigh heavy and such choices make very little room for sympathy.

When serious people defy what they know is right, it’s a bloodbath inside. Fighting oneself is always a losing battle.The strongest are capable of doing the most damage – especially to themselves if that’s who they end up at odds with.

But it’s a fool’s errand, to own-to-death so much guilt about a situation where you’re just the other, the farthest from center – the least in the know – and cheapest for getting into a situation where you’ve got the least of anyone to gain.

The cheater always wins, unless, and until, they lose someone and get their own heart broken.

 

t4b5f9jzpim

 

Cheating 7: When You Stumble Upon Much Better Sex Outside Your Relationship

Big thanks goes to Magenta for suggestion this  topic. Magenta has a great blog at https://magentaandme.wordpress.com/ – she’s hot too which is bonus.

The situation is not an uncommon – an unanticipated consequence and dilemma for some who planned to just have a one time fling. If we’re going to stray, most of us probably hope it’s good – good enough to be worth the effort and risk at least. But, how many consider what happens if it’s too good? Or, if sex with your significant other seems too bad, in comparison, after? This is no joke – not a far-fetched hypothetical to stir up a topic -this facacta happens. I’ve seen a handful of people run into problems like this: I watched some friends of mine go through the following. Tragically.

Sherry and Doug were yet another couple who got married too soon. They met the first semester of their freshman year, and have been together since. Soon after they graduated they got married, and after five or so years of marriage, what had seemed like a problem free marriage, began changing. Most of us who knew them – envied how united and strong their relationship was – figured they must be one of those few lucky couples who found their soul mate right away and would live happily ever after.

Well, those who have lived a while, know that what we see of people from the outside can be much different than what’s really happening on their inside – no marriages are perfect. As we live, we learn to find things that appear perfect, particularly suspect. Doug and Sherry did have a good relationship, but it was far from perfect – and both had been suppressing resentments. They didn’t want to be a couple with problems – perhaps thought they could ignore their problems away.

People talk about a “seven year itch” that affects some marriages, where after seven years happiness begins to decline and couples get restless. The original seven year itch was literally an skin itch that  would persist for seven years. The modern connotations comes from a move by Marilyn Monroe call “The seven Year Itch.” (this movie, was also where the famous shot came from – of wind blowing Monroe’s skirt up). Anyway, the film suggested that after seven years, men will begin wanting to stray. The movie premiered forever ago; the west has seen the liberation of women since then – so, now, girls too can come down with such an affliction.

I digress.

If you include the four years Doug and Sherry dated in college, they had been together for nine years when things started to look less rosy, and two after that, utter marital catastrophe.

Things got worse. Doug and Sherry would bicker and argue in front of us friends.  Sherry and my girlfriend were long-time friends, and Sherry would confide in her about Doug’s lack of engagement. She’d complain about how infrequent sex was becoming. They’d gone from a few times a week, to once a week, to every couple weeks – supposedly it had been a few months by the time a bunch of us friends went to Puerto Vallarta. Most of our close group of friends went, accept for Doug.

Doug was intent on some golf trip he had planned with his buddies. He opted-in a day or two before the Mexico trip was proposed. He stubbornly refused to back out and come with us to Mexico. Everybody tried to persuade him, especially Sherry – they were fighting for months about it. So, by the time Sherry had arrived in Puerto Vallarta, she’d gone months without sex, been fighting constantly with her husband, and the only one there without her significant other. Let me remind you, this is Fucking Peurto Vallarta we’re talking about, not Tijuana.

It started right away – the first night. We all started drinking by the pool as soon as we arrived. Three guys joined us early on in the evening -two brothers and their friend who owned the time-share. They were from Los Angeles too,  and staying at the same resort, so made some connection – sort of fused groups.

The third guy, the friend,  was a former college baseball player, and good looking – prototypical stud basically. Sherry, being without her other half, was talking to this guy –  by his side all evening. The two of them went off radar around ten o’clock, and we didn’t see her again until morning. Sherry initially told us they were just having a really intense conversation – but actually, the guy fucked her practically all night long. According to all the girls who heard details, the guy was a veritable superstar in bed. Sex with him was  “a life changing experience,” Sherry told my girlfriend.

We were staying all week – Sherry’s fuck machine for three more days.  Sherry was with him every night, all night, until he left. From all accounts, the two spent a ridiculous amount of the time fucking brains – having life changing orgasms and what not.

Here’s where we get to the point, I hope: I am almost certain Sherry didn’t plan to cheat on her husband.  She was very attracted to the  guy – awestruck almost, but going into it I don’t think she had any intention of wrecking or leaving her marriage. The guy was a hot stud and I’m sure she made the call that fucking him, was worth it, and that’s it. Her husband was thousands of miles away, might never know, and she’d have a little revenge as a bonus.

Whatever her true motives were, Sherry couldn’t leave it in Mexico. She wanted to work on her marriage and put super-stud behind her, but in the end couldn’t resist him. It was unfortunate that he lived in the same city – she couldn’t stop. Doug finally found out (not everything) and gave her an ultimatum – never see the guy again or lose her marriage. Sherry  promised Doug she’d never see the guy again, but Doug GPS’d her car and confronted her at the guys house a couple weeks later. He divorced her and that was the end of Doug and Sherry.

What can we learn from this story? That baseball players can fuck like the god of Viagra? Perhaps that Puerto Vallarta is the best place to find life changing sex? Ass sex even?  Yes, apparently she did that too. Whatever went on, she was “sore” in her lady-parts the rest of the week after he left).

There are many obvious things that might go wrong if we cheat- but how many think about what if the other person is too hot and the sex way too good? Perhaps one of the most unexpected problems is one of the more likely things to go wrong?

What are your thoughts. What would you do if in Sherry’s position? Have you been in a position where someone other than your significant other rocks your world much better than your spouse can? Did it cause problems? Even with swingers, couldn’t there be problems  when another person can take a person way beyond where their spouse is able to?


Cheating Series:

Cheating: Issues, Questions & Implications of shifting attitudes towards marital infidelity.

Cheating Part II: How much flirtation is healthy and when does it become infidelity?

Cheating III: Sex in Head, Mental Infidelity

Cheating IV: Anatomy of Infidelity

Cheating Part V: Loopholes, Free Zones and Grey Areas.

Cheating VII: Time Warp Infidelity – Sex After or Before the Relationship?

Cheating 7: When You Stumble Upon Much Better Sex Outside Your Relationship

Valerie I: In Person Interview

Interviewee: Valerie
Interviewer: Duncan
Location: Duncan’s house

What: I met Valerie at a writer’s meet-up. She is working on a fiction novel – non-erotica – and was curious to see what I was up to with The Sinner Saint diary project, so I invited her over to do this interview for the blog.

How: I am trying a new method with this interview: We are both sitting at my dining room table – I’m in front of my laptop and will be asking questions to her phone through google voice – and she’ll be answering on her phone. I’m hoping it will be a little easier than passing the laptop back and forth as I’ve done with past interviews.

Visual: (Valerie is a woman in her early thirties. She’s 5’ 7” tall, has long and straight black hair – has some black Irish in her ancestry. Valerie is wearing medium amount of makeup – mainly on her lips and around where eyes – which are a beautiful, piercing green, She has an average build, and overall, very attractive.


The Interview

Getting Started

Duncan: Welcome Valerie, what in the hell possessed you to come do this interview?
Valerie: Would you recommend I leave?
Duncan: I’d recommend you have some wine.
Valerie: Okay I’ll stay. Lol

(pause: gets wine)

Duncan: The wine should make this easier. Fair warning, I try to ask personal – even shocking questions – to keep interviews interesting; plus, as I’ve mentioned, this blog is for a series of erotica books. So, I want to try to ask some questions related to the genre.  if there’s any areas you wish me to avoid, please tell me now.
Valerie: Shocking questions? I’ll try to answer – no promises. As I said, I won’t answer any questions that might reveal my identity.
Duncan: I understand. Let’s cover the basics – age, marital status?
Valerie. I’m thirty three and divorced.

The Ex

Duncan: How long divorced?
Valerie. Officially, almost a year.
Duncan: Why did you get a divorce?
Valerie: Long story. Basically got tired waiting for my ex to grow up.
Duncan: Ah, he couldn’t get it up.
Valerie: No, he couldn’t get a job, lol. He was fully employed, in total, maybe two of eight we were married. It wasn’t just the not working, but all of it boiled down to him not taking responsibility. I would like a child but I wasn’t going to have a child with a child. I might have stuck it out longer, but the last year we were together after he lost his last job, he started drinking. It would make me furious to work all day and get home to find that he’d been drinking half the day.
Duncan: That sucks. So he could get it up though?
Valerie: Usually.
Duncan: was the sex awesome?
Valerie: With husband? I’d not say it was awesome, no.
Duncan: But it was really good you’re saying?
Valerie: No, lol, not really saying that either.
Duncan: What are you saying.
Valerie: Well it wasn’t good enough to keep me around, obviously. I mean, wasn’t worth dealing with all the other stuff.

Sex after Divorce

Duncan: Have you had sex since divorce?
Valerie: Ah… once. It was “rebound sex,” mistake.
Duncan: How was it?
Valerie: Forgettable.
Duncan: So, you’ve only had sex once in the year you’ve been divorced?
Valerie: Just once, shortly after the divorce went through, and haven’t even really dated until fairly recently. Vowed to get back out there and meet some new people this year – hence going to the meetup.
Duncan: How’s the dating going?
Valerie: Have gone on a few first dates, not a second if that answers your question.
Duncan: Have you slept with your ex since divorced?
Valerie: No. I’ve gotten a few late night, drunken phone calls from him wanting to. Once or twice I was tempted, but been down that road, not going back.

Duncan: If this was a date, would I get a second?
Valerie: Since it’s not a date, can’t really say. So far, I wouldn’t rule out a second non-date, how’s that?
Duncan: Second non-date, score, almost as good – half the pressure
Valerie: Relax, there’s still time to piss me off and blow this non-date.
Duncan: Do you ever get naked on first non-dates?
Valerie: I haven’t got naked on any first actual dates.

Duncan: Have you purchased any erotica books?
Valerie: Can’t say I have.
Duncan: Well, I’m gifting you the entire Sinner Saint Diary series for doing the interview.
Valerie: Cool, very generous of you.

Duncan: Was your husband your first?
Valerie: No.
Duncan: Who else was there?
Valerie: High school boyfriend and a few guys in college before I met my ex.
Duncan: a few?
Valerie: Three.
Duncan: So four guys, and your ex had the most money and biggest dick so you married him?
Valerie. No, None of them had much money, were all students. My high school boyfriend was probably the biggest, but no, didn’t marry ex for his penis or bank account. Not sure why I married him exactly. If we’re to be totally honest, I had graduated and he proposed, and I felt like it was the next thing I should do – probably married for the wrong reasons.

Challenge Round

Duncan: Okay, it’s time for the challenge round, then we’ll wrap this up.
Valerie: Challenge round?
Duncan: The challenge round is where I ask you short answer questions, each on getting more difficult and personal than the last, and you see how far you can make it – before declining to answer. If you make it through all fifteen, you become the reigning challenge champion.
Valerie: What’s the farthest someone has gone?
Duncan: Don’t know, first time I’ve done it.
Valerie: Lol, okay. Guess I’ll be setting the bar.

Duncan: 1. Are you shaved, or how are you groomed?
Valerie: Groomed.
Duncan: 2. Landing strip?
Valerie: Small patch – I had permanent hair removal, on my legs too.
Duncan: So you never have to shave?
Valerie: Nope, it’s wonderful.
Duncan: 3. What color is your pubic hair?
Valerie: Same as my normal hair.
Duncan: 4. Ass hair removed too? Did you get that bleached?
Valerie: No and No.
Duncan: 5. Objectively rate your ex’s looks on scale of 1 to 10.
Valerie: 6.8
Duncan: 6. Given the following four qualities – intelligence, attractiveness, sense of humor, penis size, rank them in order of importance for each of the following: one night stand, someone you were dating, someone you marry.
Valerie: one night, attractiveness, penis size, sense of humor, intelligence. Dating, sense of humor, attractiveness, penis size, intelligence, married, intelligence, sense of humor, attractiveness, penis size
Duncan: 7. Do you miss having sex – since it’s been almost a year right?
Valerie: Yes.
Duncan: 8. Do you masturbate a lot, how often?
Valerie: Are we at 15 yet? Lol. Lately, more often, a few times a week I’d say.
Duncan: 9. Do you use a toy? When did you buy it, describe it in detail.
Valerie: Yes, I had a little vibrator already but mainly use a rabbit one that I bought last year, eight or nine months ago. It is red and typical rabbit shape if you’re familiar.
Duncan: 10. Is it shaped like a penis?
Valerie: Yes, the last one I bought is. With an added clit stimulator thing.
Duncan: 11. When did you last have anal sex?
Valerie: Hello. Ah, it’s been a couple years.
Duncan: 12. Do you like a finger in your ass during intercourse?
Valerie: Depends, sometimes I guess.
Duncan: 13. Is this interview turning you on.
Valerie: It’s a bit titillating.
Duncan: 14. Which of the following fantasies do you find the hottest: sex with another girl, sex in “public” with other adults watching, sex with two guys at once double penetrating?
Valerie: Sex with two guys.
Duncan: 15. Have you thought (fantasized) about that?
Valerie: Sometimes.

Wrap-up

Duncan: You did it, great job.
Valerie: Don’’t know I would have made it to twenty at that rate.
Duncan: It will raise to twenty the second interview, would you considering doing another next week?
Valerie: Yes, I’d consider it
Duncan: So, yes you will then? 🙂
Valerie: Okay, not sure what’s left to ask though.
Duncan: There’s a world of things I haven’t asked.
Valerie: If you say so.
Duncan: So.

Duncan: Thank you very much for being a good sport and sharing so openly. I look forward to round two next week.

Valerie: It was fun, thank you.