Dear Tinder, it is not you, it’s me. Here is why I am leaving you.

Dear Tinder,

I wish I had a deep, meaningful explanation to give you, but the truth is harshly simplistic.

I don’t want to catch diseases from women sleeping with tons of dudes they meet on tinder, and I don’t like to use condoms, I hate them.

PLEASE LISTEN EVERYBODY – I am not saying people should not use condoms, I think they should be used when strangers fuck strangers. I am saying I hate them, and would rather not have sex than use them. I am not advocating that anyone have unprotected sex.

Besides, what the hell, dating sites use to have normal people, now it’s fine to have a drink somewhere then go fuck? Or just a dinner, then  go fuck? Or, the last time, calamari and a glass of wine, then to her house? What in the freaking hell is wrong with the world, when the world is making even me look like a prude?

 

Advertisements

Why are Women so Quick to the Penis – Have the Rules Changed?

Why all the penis contact – Are women following new rules?

I’m not really complaining – let’s call this an inquiry.

Once upon a time, girls would hold back on making contact with  a guy’s penis. So much so, it remained an open question whether or not they even wanted any such contact – or just shy about it – not wanting to come across to eager, slutty.

I’m mainly talking about behavior while making out – especially the first couple of times with someone.

The rules used to be, the girl wouldn’t touch a guy’s crotch area, until he touched her crotch first – or, at least until the he started feeling out her chest. Even then, a girl grabbing and feeling out a guy’s junk was more often second, or third date territory.

As is the case with the last four girls I’ve “interacted with,” old rules didn’t apply – dismissed  without a nod or even a wave goodbye. All four dates went went for my crotch and proceeded to locate, touch, and fondle my dick before I had felt a boob or an ass cheek. Two of the four, after I’d let my hands get busy, initiated the next step – first to dive under clothing. There hands were on me – skin to skin – before I ventured up their shirt or inside their pants. (okay one had a skirt and I’d found her ass via the most logical route.) But still..

What changed that makes feeling out and rubbing a guy’s penis a standard component of the first make-out session? And, God bless them, why are women  now unashamed about making the first move in that regard?

Perhaps it’s an age thing? – I haven’t made out with anyone under thirty in years, but it seems to be different even in the past few years. Has there been a change in cultural trends? Has Cosmo been running articles recommending a more aggressive, “dick first” attitude? Or, maybe Oprah had a guest on her show, who wrote a book about the advantages to early dicktection? Perhaps women are busier, have less free time and don’t want to ‘mess around” when they mess around? Could it be a practical matter – get some inspection in before wasting time on a second date?

What thoughts do you have? Men, have any of you noticed this too? How about you ladies, are you quicker to feel a guy’s crotch than you used to be? Any thoughts as to what has emboldened women, why the rules have changed and why women seem to be more comfortable initiating contact with penis?

Whatever-the-case, if women are more comfortable with penis contact, it’s probably a good thing despite the reason.

 

Valerie I: In Person Interview

Interviewee: Valerie
Interviewer: Duncan
Location: Duncan’s house

What: I met Valerie at a writer’s meet-up. She is working on a fiction novel – non-erotica – and was curious to see what I was up to with The Sinner Saint diary project, so I invited her over to do this interview for the blog.

How: I am trying a new method with this interview: We are both sitting at my dining room table – I’m in front of my laptop and will be asking questions to her phone through google voice – and she’ll be answering on her phone. I’m hoping it will be a little easier than passing the laptop back and forth as I’ve done with past interviews.

Visual: (Valerie is a woman in her early thirties. She’s 5’ 7” tall, has long and straight black hair – has some black Irish in her ancestry. Valerie is wearing medium amount of makeup – mainly on her lips and around where eyes – which are a beautiful, piercing green, She has an average build, and overall, very attractive.


The Interview

Getting Started

Duncan: Welcome Valerie, what in the hell possessed you to come do this interview?
Valerie: Would you recommend I leave?
Duncan: I’d recommend you have some wine.
Valerie: Okay I’ll stay. Lol

(pause: gets wine)

Duncan: The wine should make this easier. Fair warning, I try to ask personal – even shocking questions – to keep interviews interesting; plus, as I’ve mentioned, this blog is for a series of erotica books. So, I want to try to ask some questions related to the genre.  if there’s any areas you wish me to avoid, please tell me now.
Valerie: Shocking questions? I’ll try to answer – no promises. As I said, I won’t answer any questions that might reveal my identity.
Duncan: I understand. Let’s cover the basics – age, marital status?
Valerie. I’m thirty three and divorced.

The Ex

Duncan: How long divorced?
Valerie. Officially, almost a year.
Duncan: Why did you get a divorce?
Valerie: Long story. Basically got tired waiting for my ex to grow up.
Duncan: Ah, he couldn’t get it up.
Valerie: No, he couldn’t get a job, lol. He was fully employed, in total, maybe two of eight we were married. It wasn’t just the not working, but all of it boiled down to him not taking responsibility. I would like a child but I wasn’t going to have a child with a child. I might have stuck it out longer, but the last year we were together after he lost his last job, he started drinking. It would make me furious to work all day and get home to find that he’d been drinking half the day.
Duncan: That sucks. So he could get it up though?
Valerie: Usually.
Duncan: was the sex awesome?
Valerie: With husband? I’d not say it was awesome, no.
Duncan: But it was really good you’re saying?
Valerie: No, lol, not really saying that either.
Duncan: What are you saying.
Valerie: Well it wasn’t good enough to keep me around, obviously. I mean, wasn’t worth dealing with all the other stuff.

Sex after Divorce

Duncan: Have you had sex since divorce?
Valerie: Ah… once. It was “rebound sex,” mistake.
Duncan: How was it?
Valerie: Forgettable.
Duncan: So, you’ve only had sex once in the year you’ve been divorced?
Valerie: Just once, shortly after the divorce went through, and haven’t even really dated until fairly recently. Vowed to get back out there and meet some new people this year – hence going to the meetup.
Duncan: How’s the dating going?
Valerie: Have gone on a few first dates, not a second if that answers your question.
Duncan: Have you slept with your ex since divorced?
Valerie: No. I’ve gotten a few late night, drunken phone calls from him wanting to. Once or twice I was tempted, but been down that road, not going back.

Duncan: If this was a date, would I get a second?
Valerie: Since it’s not a date, can’t really say. So far, I wouldn’t rule out a second non-date, how’s that?
Duncan: Second non-date, score, almost as good – half the pressure
Valerie: Relax, there’s still time to piss me off and blow this non-date.
Duncan: Do you ever get naked on first non-dates?
Valerie: I haven’t got naked on any first actual dates.

Duncan: Have you purchased any erotica books?
Valerie: Can’t say I have.
Duncan: Well, I’m gifting you the entire Sinner Saint Diary series for doing the interview.
Valerie: Cool, very generous of you.

Duncan: Was your husband your first?
Valerie: No.
Duncan: Who else was there?
Valerie: High school boyfriend and a few guys in college before I met my ex.
Duncan: a few?
Valerie: Three.
Duncan: So four guys, and your ex had the most money and biggest dick so you married him?
Valerie. No, None of them had much money, were all students. My high school boyfriend was probably the biggest, but no, didn’t marry ex for his penis or bank account. Not sure why I married him exactly. If we’re to be totally honest, I had graduated and he proposed, and I felt like it was the next thing I should do – probably married for the wrong reasons.

Challenge Round

Duncan: Okay, it’s time for the challenge round, then we’ll wrap this up.
Valerie: Challenge round?
Duncan: The challenge round is where I ask you short answer questions, each on getting more difficult and personal than the last, and you see how far you can make it – before declining to answer. If you make it through all fifteen, you become the reigning challenge champion.
Valerie: What’s the farthest someone has gone?
Duncan: Don’t know, first time I’ve done it.
Valerie: Lol, okay. Guess I’ll be setting the bar.

Duncan: 1. Are you shaved, or how are you groomed?
Valerie: Groomed.
Duncan: 2. Landing strip?
Valerie: Small patch – I had permanent hair removal, on my legs too.
Duncan: So you never have to shave?
Valerie: Nope, it’s wonderful.
Duncan: 3. What color is your pubic hair?
Valerie: Same as my normal hair.
Duncan: 4. Ass hair removed too? Did you get that bleached?
Valerie: No and No.
Duncan: 5. Objectively rate your ex’s looks on scale of 1 to 10.
Valerie: 6.8
Duncan: 6. Given the following four qualities – intelligence, attractiveness, sense of humor, penis size, rank them in order of importance for each of the following: one night stand, someone you were dating, someone you marry.
Valerie: one night, attractiveness, penis size, sense of humor, intelligence. Dating, sense of humor, attractiveness, penis size, intelligence, married, intelligence, sense of humor, attractiveness, penis size
Duncan: 7. Do you miss having sex – since it’s been almost a year right?
Valerie: Yes.
Duncan: 8. Do you masturbate a lot, how often?
Valerie: Are we at 15 yet? Lol. Lately, more often, a few times a week I’d say.
Duncan: 9. Do you use a toy? When did you buy it, describe it in detail.
Valerie: Yes, I had a little vibrator already but mainly use a rabbit one that I bought last year, eight or nine months ago. It is red and typical rabbit shape if you’re familiar.
Duncan: 10. Is it shaped like a penis?
Valerie: Yes, the last one I bought is. With an added clit stimulator thing.
Duncan: 11. When did you last have anal sex?
Valerie: Hello. Ah, it’s been a couple years.
Duncan: 12. Do you like a finger in your ass during intercourse?
Valerie: Depends, sometimes I guess.
Duncan: 13. Is this interview turning you on.
Valerie: It’s a bit titillating.
Duncan: 14. Which of the following fantasies do you find the hottest: sex with another girl, sex in “public” with other adults watching, sex with two guys at once double penetrating?
Valerie: Sex with two guys.
Duncan: 15. Have you thought (fantasized) about that?
Valerie: Sometimes.

Wrap-up

Duncan: You did it, great job.
Valerie: Don’’t know I would have made it to twenty at that rate.
Duncan: It will raise to twenty the second interview, would you considering doing another next week?
Valerie: Yes, I’d consider it
Duncan: So, yes you will then? 🙂
Valerie: Okay, not sure what’s left to ask though.
Duncan: There’s a world of things I haven’t asked.
Valerie: If you say so.
Duncan: So.

Duncan: Thank you very much for being a good sport and sharing so openly. I look forward to round two next week.

Valerie: It was fun, thank you.

Wondering about me? Here’s my New FAQ page

Q. How did you come up with the name Sinner Saint?

The name came about after I had sex with a coworker and friend, two weeks before her wedding. You can read the story for details, but after we were done, I said to her, “I’m a sinner now, no doubt.” She replied, “No, actually, I’d say you’re a Goddamn saint!”

Q. I think I get the Sinner part of the name, can you explain the idea behind the Saint part?

The Saint is in there to represent the side of me that cares for people and can’t stand to see injustice or people getting bullied or abused. There’s always been contradictions between my sometimes scandalous behavior and the sometimes positive results, or positive intentions, of my behavior. Bad things for good reasons? Or, sin with good intentions?

For instance, in high school I was selected to deliver the speech on character for the National Honor Society: The next day I was suspended from school for selling all the girls see through, open fly men’s boxer shorts with the school logo on them. It turns out a lot of girls purchased tiny sizes and were wearing them to school (I think the actual cause for all the uproar was not about students, but that the male teachers and staff were getting too “distracted” by the situation).

Or, during my sophomore year of college – the first time I had sex with a married woman: it was my philosophy professor while she was on the phone with her husband. That was the sinner at work; however, her husband had been having an affair with one of his grad students for nearly a year, and “out of the goodness of my heart,” I “gave of myself” to help her get revenge on him and get through her devastation. Read my stories and discover more about the sinner-saint duality.

Q. What made you decide to create this blog and publish a series of stories?

I don’t have any children or family of my own, but after decades of not being restricted by such commitments, I’ve had time and freedom to get into mischief.

I never expected to be this old and single. On the bright side, I’ve got wild times to write about and people are reading erotica: hopefully there’s a demand for stories that are true – or at least more realistic than is typical.

Q. Why are all your stories about sex? Why did you chose to write erotic stories?

I write about the steamier and most scandalous, because it keeps my attention long enough to finish a story. I didn’t set out to write about sex, but many of the best stories have something to do with it.

(While most people date and get crazy for five to ten years before becoming tied down with marriage and family, I’ve been working on the dating and “getting crazy” part for a couple decades. So, before you see all my stories and figure I must be a gigolo,  or rock star incognito,  or just full of shit, think about your own life and how many girls or guys you got crazy with before getting married; then multiply that by how much longer I’ve been single.)

Q. Your stories aren’t actually true, right?

I aim to write stories that seem as real as possible: for me, a realistic story is more interesting and has more potential to arouse. I add, remove, and adjust the facts only as is necessary to translate my experiences into effective stories. Dare, the diary’s first publication, is at least seventy percent true. A few stories to be published soon, are as much as ninety percent true.

Q. Most of the women in your stories are married, true? Is there a reason why?

Not true. It is the case with recent stories. As I get older, I have more interaction with women who are married – hence more of them in stories. I am not in my twenties anymore, and by my age most have married.

A less obvious reason is that I am shy and have always been more comfortable letting a girl come to me. When I get together with someone it’s usually because they’ve made the first move, and while It may sound counter-intuitive,  married women (who are looking) are more assertive about making the first move.

Q. Speaking of women who are married or engaged, why would you risk destroying someone’s relationship or marriage?

I don’t encourage anyone to betray their relationship. People govern their own morality,  it’s not for me to choose what is wrong, or justifiable for them. I do feel guilty about some of the behavior I’ve participated in. I could have been a better person in many ways, must I own their half of the responsibility as well?

(If you read my stories, you see that It has not been my intention to break the unbroken, corrupt the innocent, spoil the cherished nor disrupt the sated.)

Q. Do you cheat on your significant others?

As a rule I do not cheat. I have when I was much younger in high school and college. If I ever get married, I will not cheat.

Q. Do you avoid marriage because you are worried you’ll cheat?

It may be a factor but not a big one. I have not married because I have not met the girl for me yet. There was actually someone who was close, but I was young  and not ready – and the options seemed abundant. I don’t want to make a sacred vow to someone just because all the requirements seem to match up. I want to give a wife all my heart – my last breath – It must be someone who I can trust with it.

(p.s. a wife with large breasts or a nice ass wouldn’t suck. honesty and kindness trump all other qualities. sense of humor is bonus)

Q. What was your most embarrassing moment?

There are many to choose from – difficult choice. I’ll go with the time I went to the state fair with my sisters – when I was in junior high school. I guess I was excited – very anxious to get into the fair, and ran through the wrong turn-style. It was the exit – instead of the entrance right next to it. The turn-style was the perfectly wrong height – if you know what I mean, and the next thing I know I was on the ground with a crowd around me,  with  paramedics arriving. As incredibly painful as it was, the embarrassment was worse.

Q. What are your plans for The Sinner Saint Diary?

  • One idea I am working on, is to get a participant in a story to write their version of it, and then post them on the blog for readers to compare the two perspectives.
  • I am planning to have a few of the real people behind the characters that appear in the stories, do interviews for the blog. And, of course, I will continue doing interviews with both readers, and other interesting people as I stumble across them.
  • I want to include audio or video scenes from some of the stories – find some talented actors as voices for the different characters. Ultimately, I hope to live-stream a theatrical performance of a story.
  • The Sinner Saint Diary is my diary. With it, I hope to fuck with your perceptions and assumptions, exceed your expectations, and cross-pollinate mediums and genres. I intend to use every part of my being, and resources, to get you off, push your thinking, and contribute to the scope of your view and the joy in your world.

This is a post of the permanent FAQ page = click here to go there.

Click here for Dare – Volume I of the Sinner Saint Diary Series

Have a question you think should be included on this page? – suggest it in a comment and I will add it.