Hornyness – Mine vs Yours, is it Essentially Same for Men & Women?

Thank you for these suggestions

“Any filth from a true male perspective, that’s how I found your blog to begin with. I enjoy reading about power exchanges, …”

“Stepbrother/sister relationship? Interracial stepbrother/sister even better!”

“My life. ;)”

“Describe in detail your last forbidden encounter.”

“Hmm, I’m going to have to take my best guess as to what you mean by “filth,” and “power exchanges,”

“I want to know what the male sees, thinks, feels. What is it that makes your cock press against your zipper? Is it the way she looks up at you sheepishly, already alluding to her submission? Is it the way her dress clings to her body making you wonder if there’s anything between the fabric from.the dress and her skin? What coaxes an orgasm out of you the quickest: fucking her from behind while she says things that would make a sailor blush OR feeling her take your length into her mouth and seeing her brow tense when she tries to relax and not gag?”

“Visit a nude beach or nudist resort, or a sex club and blog about your experience there…”

“Tell more deep dark secrets. The bad ones I like those.”

And I was worried that you all thought my posts were too naughty and sexual. These suggestions aren’t exactly tabernacle certified.

Please keep the suggestions coming. For now I will try to synthesize the suggestions I’ve received so far into a something.

So, the topic needs to be something true, personal and filthy about what turns me on ( “coaxes” an orgasm out of me” ) – that includes power exchanges, deep dark secrets, nudism and.. Well, a lot of talk about forbidden, kinky, sex… from the male perspective?


Obviously, a series about hornyness is what you’re saying.

If I’m hearing you all correctly.

Let’s start with the assumption that everyone gets horny in different ways and to different degrees. Nevertheless, there seems to be some commonalities. In search of aspects that may be more universal – I’ll start with the nature of my own hornyness and consider how it might relate to the hornyness I’ve seen from women – with a sprinkle some bad, armchair science on the matter.

There’s little mystery about men and their hornyness. We’re always horny when young – following puberty, and to some degree get less horny as we get older. Regardless of our age, if you’re a woman (or our gender preference) and you touch our dick – or touch us pretty much anywhere, or, you let us touch you anywhere, we’ll get horny. If you talk naughty about sex, show us your body, or do those things that you know you do, we’ll get horny. Get us horny enough, we’ll probably agree to fuck you, even when we shouldn’t. Nothing here we don’t already know, right?

But a man’s libido is his curse and his blessing. If you’re a parent to boys, god help you: if you get them past 21 without them doing anything that would condemn them to hell, send them to jail, get them in trouble or get someone else in trouble, you’re 99% home free.

My parents were vigilant – had the discussions – gave me the information – and put the fear of god in me about getting someone pregnant. That’s all a parent can do other than raise decent human beings. Being a good person who’s been given some kind of moral compass, is the only thing that’s going to stop a particularly horny young man from behavior that will harm himself or others – fucking indiscriminately.

It cannot be overstated how powerful of force a man’s hornyness can be. For those as hormonally stimulated as I was, it consumes your body, makes your head throb…
When a wave of hornyness comes over you – it’s the deepest yearning imaginable, the intoxication makes you feel numb, high, unable to think otherwise, it makes nearly everything and everybody arousing. I thank god – or my parents – that I knew enough not to do anything that would cause me irrevocable trouble, but I sure as hell took risks, and followed my dick into a lot of naughty situations.

Perhaps some wouldn’t see it as such a big deal, but in the Catholic, academic, white-picket-fencedom context I came from, and my otherwise polite and “thoughtful” demeanor, the attraction to girls and the amount of contact I had with them, was unspeakable – partly why I blog and write this stuff now – for all the things I’ve done and seen in private, but never spoke about. There were guys I knew that were worse than I – who did wild things like have gang bangs and share their exploits publicly, but the ground I covered privately – to sedate my hornyness – was significant.

The intensity calmed in my later twenties. Nowadays I see my hornyness more positively. Now it’s energy, inspiration, motivation, life force. I try to hold on to it now, harness it as fuel for creativity. Before there was too much – as soon as it swelled up, I’d seek its release. There was always libido left to fuel the creativity. I still have waves of intense hornyness, – but to maintain constant drive and creativity, I’ve must ration things – take care not to unload too frivolously. Or, that’s the idea anyway… I don’t hold it in all that long – it’s all relative – my libido was overly strong to begin with – it’s now probably where it should have been in my mid twenties.

Then there’s you women out there.

If male hornyness was a pop-up book, nailing down how women get horny can seem like reading Chinese sign language. That’s what many seem to think – what a martian would think if he was reading about the topic online. Perhaps I’m delusional, but I’ve never thought women seemed much different.

A few studies I’ve read, claim that women experience sexual arousal as a response to physical intimacy, not in anticipation of it – nor by other purely mental stimulus. What is it that motivates a woman’s craving for sex if it’s not physical arousal? Does this theory assume they crave sex because they want the trash taken out, but once it starts, they’re then on board with the sex for the the sake of the sex – of arousal?

I haven’t been in a woman’s body and cannot refute such studies, but I can confirm that I’ve seen girls behave so horny that as far as I could tell they were aroused – prior to sexual intimacy. I don’t think girls get as horny, as frequently as guys; at least, as much as I do; however, it’s not rare for girls to get horny. And, I’ve seen them get big-horny like guys – overwhelmed in their hornyness. If all of them were faking it, they had me fooled. I know some weren’t – the ones who got so horny they did something out of character. Every guy has been there, so we know when we see someone overcome by their libido, lust drunk, experiencing horniatic dementia.

Whether or not women experience physical arousal prior to intimacy, or without it, they do often seem to get more horny as a result of physical intimacy. So much more horny – it makes me think there is something to the pre/post physical arousal studies; probably not entirely untrue – perhaps misinterpreted.

There are theories about Oxytocin that might explain why sexual activity would increase a woman’s libido. Similar ideas have been suggested to explain why women in sexless marriages stop desiring sex (stop being horny); and why they are likely to have a surge in sexual desire if at some point they experience a resumption of orgasmically fulfilling sexual activity. Oxytocin has been described as some sort of aphrodisiacal love hormone – more addictive than cocaine. Supposedly, when a woman has sex, or has an orgasm, Oxytocin is released and makes her crazy for more. I have no idea if Oxytocin has anything to do with it, but I’ve seen women who’d been in sexlessish marriages, have their libidos go supersonic once divorced – as soon as they had sex again.

It’s very exciting by the way – to see a woman get unusually horny. The more out of character for her, the hotter it is. Eighteen to twenty three and after thirty five are the age ranges where I’ve seen women get the horniest = behave the most imprudently in pursuit of sex. Again, everybody’s different, but the numbers support a few generalizations.

I’ve seen a lot of studies related to how women tend to get more horny during ovulation. This makes total sense but I’ve never noticed or paid much attention to this.

Women get more horny when they drink – that’s a fact I’ll stand behind – settled science!

Back to me. I ran into the term sapiosexual on thebrokenrosewithlaughingeyes blog by Princess.

“a person who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.”

Random porn nastiness doesn’t really get me horny. I get turned on when there is something connecting mentally, or some aspect of emotional drama taking place.

Unfortunately, I also get turned on by things illicit – forbidden interaction. (married women, co-workers, cheaters, bosses, etc.) I’d much prefer to get horny over something that I didn’t have to compromise my character to engage in. For now, it’s there until it’s not.

Seeing tits makes me horny.

This may be a series of one part – depending on whether I think of much more to say on the subject. What say you?


Most Arousing : Silent, Risky & Simple

When we think of where we might find an exquisitely arousing experience – deep sexual satisfaction, visions of three ways, all-night sex marathons , incredibly attractive and skillful lovers,  sexual acts that are particularly kinky or forbidden – or, other such visions of sexual interaction being more grande – stimulation more glutinous.

I still wait for something more spectacular, where I might experience a new level of orgasm, or a transcendent sexual experience – or just one that is as exciting and powerful as it was at first when sex was new; But, the moments of overwhelming arousal, when sexual interaction is deeply fulfilling, almost always come about in situations much less grand, and often too subtle and emotionally complex to imagine or look for: such moments a  remarkable synchronicity of simple elements.

I’ve had a few experiences of the spectacular variety, but there’s only so good physical interaction can feel – and only so good a standard orgasm can be, and while a lot of the spectacular experiences produce optimal orgasms and maxed out pleasureful sensations, actual reward is always about the same – and not all that  much more fulfilling than a good masturbation.

There are times when the limits are broken and sexual interaction is more than orgasm, when orgasms are more than orgasms even, but the ingredients needed to bake such experiences, seem less available in many of the more obvious scenarios. Perhaps  the strongest experiences require a degree or type of sensitivity unable to service the sexual amplitude of extreme or “earth shattering” sexual interaction.

For example, there was an evening I write about in the next SSD book about a condo that I lived in for about a year – that I shared with the owner who rented me the room and another female tenant. Some crazy things happened during those condo days, but one of the most arousing and memorable experiences, was otherwise pretty unspectacular.

One night, while the landlord was away attending  a work related conference, I hung out and drank with the other tenant – who had just become single too. The next night she got home late in the evening after hitting happy hour and dinner with friends after work . She talked  to me in the kitchen for a few minutes, then tells me she’d be back up in a bit – wanted to get out of her work clothes. She returned wearing a very plain white nightshirt – something you’d get at the gap or target even – not Victoria secrets. But, it was just see through enough -her panties and nipples not being shown, but showing  – and the discussion was just provocative enough – that one of those monumental experiences sprung up.

I can’t tell the story here – the point is, the building blocks of this encounter were very simple: a roommate, a basic, white cotton night shirt, by chance us both being there, newly single with landlord gone, and perhaps the spark – a bit of unexpected behavior in my housemate curiously choosing to wear such a normal yet immodest outfit.

That evening saw no three ways, spontaneous animalistic sex,  circus equipment or even handcuffs, yet I can’t remember many times I’ve been more aroused and satisfied. It makes me realize that sexual satisfaction isn’t about being gotten off – it’s about being turned on – it’s about feeling numb with desire and arousal – and the situations that create these feelings are unexpected and complicated, rarely spectacular, and something in us yearns for them.

I’ve had a few wild and grande sexual encounters  (by my square standards) – and they got me off hard – but none have made me so drunk with arousal, that I didn’t know the words I was speaking, or feel on the verge of risking all pride and consequence, trembling with desire, my heart pounding and heads throbbing, only needing an orgasm to stop the orgasming, when I could bare no more. The context surrounding such moments = so remarkable buy rarely spectacular.