Why is it that girls can fall out of love so totally and quickly? Why does their adoration never return once it is gone?

I’m actually going to spoil the suspense and begin with my conclusion on this issue.

In general, for us guys, love does not involve idolization. We don’t have to convince ourselves that a girl is king of the world and the very source of magic in our reality. Not to say men never obsess about a girl, but their obsession is to have her, it’s irrelevant if she’s a super hero or not.

We don’t want you to be supernaturally magnificent, and we don’t want to make you feel like you are – a thing that I think girls do sometimes to manipulate men into loving them.


So, if we don’t want a wonder goddess who walks on water, what in the hell do guys want. Easy question, I will tell you, guys want to be yours. We are vastly less picky, perhaps to as much a degree more rational (stop, don’t fight, we won’t go there).

We want devotion and to be needed, wanted, claimed. And you girls know this, and many girls who are not so conscientious, use our nature to fuck with heads and manipulate. It is so easy: be shifty about your loyalty, make it as confusing as possible for him to discern if you are his, and only his, just give him conflicting messages as to where the hell your devotion is.

Of course, such tactics will fail, you’ll lose thee strong and sound men: most guys can be spun upside down, for a while by such games, but the honest and strong will know you jacked with their head, betrayed by way of mind fuck, and will never love you.

We digress, so back to why guys don’t lose love, go cold, switch off like you girls. We never mistook you for a god, or for a super-human even, so our perception of you can’t be shattered by any realization that you’re not at all as wonderful as we thought.

We probably thought your boobs are nice – something about you attracts us obviously, and we begin loving you to the extent that you devote to us, commit.  Nothing that attracted us to you is  going to change so fast that we suddenly lose the love – suddenly have no interest.

But with girls – their men have to be put on a pedestal (why would anyone be worthy of their love if they weren’t bursting with greatness and unfathomable awesomeness?)

The more amazing you’ve built the image of your man up to be, the faster you’re going to be utterly uninterested when you wake up from the fantastic delusion that’s been paved as your insurance for choosing him.






35 thoughts on “Why is it that girls can fall out of love so totally and quickly? Why does their adoration never return once it is gone?

  1. I gotta say, you could switch the sexes out in this post and pretty much sum up how I feel about men. I am the one who leaves only after I have been treated poorly for too long. I feel like men manipulate women into loving them, and then discard them. So, just another perspective.


  2. I was thinking the same thing. I reversed what I was reading and instantly found myself thinking ‘hey that’s me’. After years of being in relationships that went wrong probably because I did build up this ridiculous image of them as ‘king’ which always eventually meant I had ‘had enough’ and fell out of love over night and then dumped their sorry asses, I have developed a new way to manage my relationships. And I am doing it the way guy’s do it (as in what you have explained above). And my god it makes life so much easier. Equally because all the men I am involved with are doing it because they want the same situation as me (ie non-monogamous ongoing relationships) nobody is put up on a pedestal but everyone gets to indulge their basic need – sexual conquest. And depending on the individual relationship that also spills into conversation and companionship to varying degrees. And f*** me it works!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Great it is working. I’m not advocating, but just saying it is what happens. Also, being monogamous or not is fine, but idolizing can happen regardless. I support your efforts, but doubt you’ll break this rule of nature: if you lose it for a man you loved, you’ll be flat done and never be hot for him again.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have often wondered how I can idolise a man – completely adore him – and then, one day, just be irrevocably repulsed by him. Maybe the answer is in the question, as you say – someone we idolise will eventually let us down. I think it usually happens in an imperceptibly gradual way over years of annoy habits or behaviour rather than a sudden fall from grace.

    I think the point about what men require is a different point and also up for discussion…”we begin loving you to the extent that you devote to us, commit”. As earlier commentators have said, that has not been my experience. Men shy away from commitment, from incorporating you into their lives. Or perhaps just the men I’m attracted to 😉


    • This is fascinating to here your thoughts on this. Thank you for your response, – is enlightening but raises more questions as well.

      If I may ask a few of them…

      1. If you lose the “feeling” for a man gradually over years, why (so it seems) you never get it back – gradually, or even partially? their seems like a light bulb with women, once it burns out, no amount of energy will light it up.

      2. So, you love us to the extent we devote to you? Then why would that love ever turn off unless a guy withdrew his devotion for you?

      I have more I’d like to discuss, but not here – replying in reply box. … thank you again for your thoughts


    • attraction is a fascinating thing. People seem to have an innate ability to perceive a potential mates “quality” or value on the dominance hierarchy. And there are tricks people use to project a higher value = might get someone laid but can’t hide true value for long

      Liked by 1 person

  4. 1. I don’t know! But it is definitely the case. A lot of chemistry/attraction is based on mystery. And once the guy has removed the mystery – by being gross or an asshole enough times – the mystery disappears and you can’t un-know the things that put you off. Perhaps someone who is truly compatible with you over the long term is incapable of putting you off?
    2. I was quoting you…But what you say could be true the other way around. I think the withdrawal of devotion is a big factor in turning love off. The whole “hard to get” thing is like an elastic band. The further you push it the more the person will want you – to a point. Then it just snaps. But small things can also be a turn off – as shallow as it sounds. I’ve been turned off by men for consistently showing me their weaknesses, their controlling sides, their indecision, even blowing their nose in front of me. The only ones for whom my attraction never diminished is where I felt the relationship ended early without closure. Either I haven’t found the right one or I am incapable of long term monogamy?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 1. I totally know what you mean. … I can be totally attracted to a girl, and some flaw or weakness will show itself, or as you say her mystery be revealed and disappointing, and then there will be no attraction, sometimes just short of repulsion. – happened more when I was younger and more prone to infatuation. … I wonder the same thing – only one person has been incapable of putting me off – but she’s mean and married.

    2. And, sorry, forgot what I wrote – and re-read post. Perhaps it is the men you date? or your age, are you 18? .. Most the guys I know, are as serious about commitment or more so than the women. Some of us not so much when we were teens and early twenties, but otherwise.

    Hard to get thing doesn’t work on me, but it seems to work very well with girls … what works better is competition.. other girls makes girls want you more. even if they are pissed off about it, they want you more. …. I had a teacher once who said, the way to get a girl, is to convey your love for her then run like hell away from her.


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