Dr G:: interview
Okay, this is a risky interview for both parties. In order to get Dr G to agree to this interview, I actually had to agree to terms in writing – first time.
- She was guaranteed full final approval of all content and redaction – redaction have been noted.
- There must be no subsequent disclosure without full consent.
- Dr G reserved the right to pull the interview at anytime before or after publication.
These terms were completely understandable and fair. The Dr. has a well known practice, and is taking risk on behalf of contributing to my blog. It might be my undoing, but I immensely appreciate the Dr for her professional, unique and consequential contribution the SSD blog.
SS: Thank you for taking time to do this. Would you please introduce yourself and what you do?
Dr G: Thank you, I can say this is a first for me. I am a wife and mother to three children, two in high school and one just completing her first year of college. I am a board certified couple & family psychologist. in private practice. [redaction]
SS: Did you read anything on my blog before this interview.
Dr G::: All of it.
SS: Uh oh. And your thoughts – why are you doing this interview despite reading “all of it?”
Dr G: Well, it’s an entertainment blog, right? I find it entertaining. I’m not sure if many of those who read the blog meet you first, but that was an interesting factor – this nice unobtrusive gentleman with these sexual admonitions. You make it clear that you speak from a layman’s perspective and, unlike I’ve seen by some others online, you’re discussing and not advising. That said, measured against the cases I’ve treated, I find your anecdotes or “on the ground in the field” research highly plausible. The stories you speak of are either true, or you’re an experienced psychologist, or an exceptionally perceptive artist, whichever the case, I’d say there’s value in what you’re saying.
SS: So you don’t find the sexual parts “true to form?”
Dr G.: Therapy usually doesn’t get as sexually explicit, or specific. It’s probably part of what makes your tales interesting, they include the hidden and forbidden parts of the story.
SS: So, you don’t discuss explicit or specific sexual matters with your patients?
Dr G.: Sometimes, but more often we focus on the problematic areas, as opposed to those aspects you’d probably find most provocative or stimulating. [redaction here]
SS: I gave you the option to do this interview over text if you wanted and you chose to do this in person, why? I’m glad you did BTW, just curious?
Dr G: Primarily to get my little contract signed and felt I would have more control over the publishing, or non-publishing process. Secondarily, I figured we might as well keep it real, and here I get to see your collection of musical instruments and your artwork.
SS: So you read “all of it,” you say, you didn’t read my first publication Dare did you?
Dr G. I said all of it, yes I purchased and read Dare
SS: Wow. But, thank you very much for doing so – I would have of course sent you a copy for free – you’ve got a life time membership to the Sinner Saint Diary series now. So, I’m afraid to ask, but based on everything you’ve read – can you give me a non-binding, off the record, off the cuff psychological summary or profile of me?
Dr G. : If I had a month to do so. Kidding. Let’s be clear this is premature, non-professional and as you say “non-binding.” There’s the most obvious suspicion one might have, commitment issues. I’ve met you and I see no perceivable reason other than your psychology why you haven’t married or chosen more long term relationships.
You seem to have a strong desire to rescue, a “savior complex” of sorts. I get the sense that you feel you’ve harmed, or let someone be harmed, and you have a compulsion to undo or make up for it? I suspect your guilt is out of proportion and you’ve judged yourself too severely.
Then there’s the “elephant in the room,” a phallus-related complex? Perhaps you have failed or feel insecure about, unaccomplished in “saving” people with your mind? Just brainstorming possibilities, please don’t take any of this as firm opinion. What else, perhaps you have a perception of inadequacy about your intellectual desirability? Or, maybe you feel inadequate physically, so you compensate through your stories? Could be many reasons, but the fact that your genitalia play such a role, seems a pointer baring a degree of psychological significance.
SS: What an answer, thank you for not giving some safe, “I’d need more info,” answer. I feel dissected and revealed – but I asked for it. So, this penis complex I have, that’s tough love, but fair enough, I’d like to get to the bottom of that. Clinically speaking, would it help narrow down the possible root of the complex if you’d seen my “phallus?”
Dr G: It may have eliminated one or two possibilities, but we could probably understand the fixation with some discussion.
(It’s’ embarrassing enough to be hearing about this “phallus complex” I supposedly have, not going to give the inadequacy theory any oxygen. Here in the interview I walked over to the kitchen to grab the wine bottle for refills – and briefly flashed my dick to Dr G on the way.)
Dr G.: Okay, new data, Oh dear, what time might be saved if I’d had this sort of anatomical discovery on some cases. Kidding. So, what do you think, why do you think you feature your phallus prominently as compared to other aspects in many of your stories? Aside from the obvious.
SS: Simple reasons. One, as told in my stories, my phallus gets mentioned and participates. Two, it turns me on to experience and also write about my phallus getting attention or turning anyone on. Three, I know anatomy is shallow to acknowledge and supposed to be inconsequential, but some situations – some stories – involve the phallus – a few even revolve around it.
Dr G: Perhaps we can describe it as more of a “fetish,” than a “complex?”
SS: You’re the Dr, you tell me.
Dr G:i want to re-read everything in light of new discoveries.
SS: So, couple and family psychology, does that include sex therapy?
Dr G: Yes. I wrote a thesis related to that. [redacted]
SS: Do I need therapy?
Dr G: That depends, do you feel like you do? You seem to be happy and high functioning, but that’s your decision not mine.
SS: Who goes to sex therapy and for what purpose?
Dr G: Often sex therapy is a component of a larger scope of therapy. Often, the sex related issues are symptom, cause or component of a larger scope of treatment. And then there’s cases involving sexual abuse, addiction and dysfunction. Some of your stories are pertinent in that they describe the straightforward facts, without the baggage, of the reality some experience. It’s’ human nature for people to be selective with their truth, and your stories tell the parts that I infer. Not that everyone I work with aren’t truthful, sometimes they are too close to the problem to see the truth.
SS: Okay, I know you can’t divulge specific cases, but in general, what are some more common sex related issues that you’ve seen or treated?
Dr G: Infidelity. Sexual dysfunction. Sexual incompatibility or problematic fetishes. Sexual compulsion. Hypersexuality, although I don’t see all hypersexuality as pathological. I’ve seen those who have a clearly deleterious pathology to their sexual compulsions, and those who are more – like like you seem to be, high-libido without derangement, distress or impairment in social, occupational or other areas of functioning associated with the frequency and intensity of these sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior.
Perhaps, being aware of your “highly charged proclivities” (if you have such), you deliberately avoided commitment as opposed to committing to someone knowing you would inevitably be unfaithful? If so, I commend you for that, but have you considered any non-traditional options? A partner open to a poly-amorous agreement perhaps? I mention this only because I get the sense you are sacrificing much for your nature, for the sake of your integrity. I’ll stop there, you’ll have to be a paying customer to get more.
SS: Well that’s good. You don’t find my “hypersexuality” to be pathological and crazy? That’s a relief. No, I get what you’re saying. I don’t think I’m that hypersexual actually, I’m a normal, healthy guy who likes women and sex, yes. Okay, a little hypersexual yes, but not as much anymore. When I was a teen and in my early to mid 20s it was a different story. There was no pill to calm such a libido. Thank god for my parents and the education they gave me – I’d be dead or in big trouble long before now if they’d not informed me as they had. I’m lucky to be alive and healthy as it were. But, as my stories have or will detail, things were crazy. Would you like to see my “phallus ” erect so you can rule out erectile dysfunction as the reason I have my phallus complex?
Dr G: No, I will completely take your word on that. You’ve proven enough, let’s leave that one for the imagination.
SS: So, did Dare or any of my stories turn you on? Did you like them? Or, was it purely a clinical read?
Dr G: I said I found them entertaining. You’re a smart man, I think you can read the subtext in that.
SS: True, the subtext I read was that it turned you on, you masturbated over it, and contributed to the reason you chose to do this interview in person.
Dr G: I won’t confirm or deny that statement.
SS: OMG, you read my blog or my book Dare and actually masturbated during or right after reading?
Dr G: Again, I won’t confirm or deny.
SS: Wow, despite my phallus and savior complex, I encouraged you to get off? Awesome, good to know even Doctors get off.
Dr G: [redacted]
SS: I really hope you don’t cut that out of the interview.
Dr G: 100% I will cut that out of this interview.
Dr G: Sorry, you agreed to rules. I’d let that stay if not for the obvious identifier.
SS: I know. So, how is your sex life with husband, is it perfect because you’re an expert?
Dr G: of course not, no relationship, marriage or sex life is perfect.
SS: In what ways is it not perfect?
Dr G: We are normal and imperfect as all couples are. In our forties, the Cialis isn’t always effective, he’s overweight and I’ve worked harder to maintain my appearance. However, when I was pregnant and our kids were young, his sexual needs were not met like he’d have liked and yet he stuck in there with me. Marriage is a contract not a perfect solution. We agreed not to quit or leave each other, better or worse.
SS: Well, you’re a woman who stuck by her word, I admire that.
Dr G: Yes I have.
SS: Can we kiss though?
Dr G: Sure.
I hope everyone enjoyed this one of Kind interview. I cannot thank Dr G enough for participating. Thank You.
Please comment and let me know if you enjoy such content or suggest how I might make this blog more meaningful.