Where Should we go? please don’t make me fuck Taylor Swift to Get attention

Looking for direction and feedback.

We’re getting enough response to continue the blog. For now.

Can you tell me where to go? do you  like interviews? more SSD amazon book publications?

Do you want more free-form, stories of my life?

Do you want me to be risky or daring? nude interviews? Pissed off people from my stories? um…..  more pics? I mean, what can I do to  further enlighten your path or pleasure your senses? name it – and I’ll give it?

Thank you for any comments you can share – to help me know where to go and figure out how I can contribute.

Where Should we go? please don’t make me fuck Taylor Swift to Get attention

 

 

How to fuck girls: advice I’d have given a younger brother had I ever had one.

  1. The longer you wait to even kiss her, the more likely she’ll let you do anything.
  2. When you don’t know what to be, don’t be what you think she wants you to be, just be honest.
  3. Forget and ignore any sex scene you’ve seen or see in any movie . All fake, and not how you fuck.
  4. You must be able to last fifteen – twenty minutes, see me for training curriculum if necessary.
  5. If you want to be her best shopping friend, fuck her sensuously and passionately.
  6. If You want to make her come, fuck her hard and relentlessly.
  7. it’s communication and giving. You can kiss her cheek honestly or fail, drill her pussy like a masturbation accessory. You fake it – you lose.
  8. If she can’t come – it’s you, not her. Work it out, figure it out, or kiss her goodbye. fuck her like it’s life or death, because it is.
  9. Don’t talk about it. No, not even your best friends or fraternity buds. You reduce you and her if you do. If it’s worth mentioning, let her do so. Yes, you’ll compound your options by keeping exploits to yourself, but much more importantly, you’ll not be a stupid dick. understand?
  10. For the first round, money wins no matter how you fuck, so focus on that until you’re married. Period.

 

 

Dr G certified psychologist dissection/interview: Savior, Phallus complex, Marriage, non Marriage

Dr G:: interview

Okay, this is a risky interview for both parties. In order to get Dr G to agree to this interview, I actually had to agree to terms in writing – first time.

  • She was guaranteed full final approval of all content and redaction – redaction have been noted.
  • There must be no subsequent disclosure without full consent.
  • Dr G reserved the right to pull the interview at anytime before or after publication.

These terms were completely understandable and fair. The Dr. has a well known practice,  and is taking risk on behalf of contributing to my blog. It might be my undoing, but I immensely appreciate the Dr for her professional, unique and consequential contribution the SSD blog.

SS: Thank you for taking time to do this. Would you please introduce yourself and what you do?


Dr G: Thank you, I can say this is a first for me. I am a wife and mother to three children, two in high school and one just completing her first year of college. I am a board certified couple & family psychologist. in private practice. [redaction]

SS: Did you read anything on my blog before this interview.

Dr G::: All of it.

SS: Uh oh. And your thoughts – why are you doing this interview despite reading “all of it?”

Dr G: Well, it’s an entertainment blog, right? I find it entertaining. I’m not sure if many of those who read the blog meet you first, but that was an interesting factor – this nice unobtrusive gentleman with these sexual admonitions. You make it clear that you speak from a layman’s perspective and, unlike I’ve seen by some others online, you’re discussing and not advising. That said, measured against the cases I’ve treated, I find your anecdotes or “on the ground in the field” research highly plausible. The stories you speak of are either true, or you’re an experienced psychologist or an exceptionally perceptive artist, whichever the case, I’d say there’s value in what you’re saying.

SS: So you don’t find the sexual parts “true to form?”

Dr G.: Therapy usually doesn’t get as sexually explicit, or specific. It’s probably part of what makes your tails interesting, they include the hidden and forbidden parts of the story.

SS: So, you don’t discuss explicit or specific sexual matters with your patients?

Dr G.: Sometimes, but more often the parts that hurt or are problematic are addressed, as opposed to those aspects most provocative and stimulating shall we say. [redaction here]

SS: I gave you the option to do this interview over text if you wanted and you chose to do this in person, why? I’m glad you did BTW, just curious?

Dr G: Primarily to get my little contract signed and felt I would have more control over the publishing, or non-publishing process. Secondarily, I figured we might as well keep it real and here I get to see your collection of musical instruments and your art.

SS: So you read “all of it,” you say, you didn’t read my first publication Dare did you?

Dr G. I said all of it, yes I purchased and read “Dare”

SS: Wow. But, thank you very much for doing so – I would have of course sent you a copy for free – you’ve got a life time membership to the Sinner Saint Diary series now. So, I’m afraid to ask, but based on everything you’ve read – can you give me a non-binding, off the record, off the cuff psychological summary or profile of me?

Dr G. : If I had a month to do so. Kidding. Let’s be clear this is premature, non-professional and as you say “non-binding.” There’s the most obvious, apparent commitment issues. I’ve met you and there’s no perceivable reason other than your psychology why you haven’t married or had more long term relationships. You seem to have a strong desire to rescue, a “savior complex” of sorts. I get the sense that you feel you’ve harmed, or let someone be harmed, and you have a compulsion to undo or make up for it. I suspect your guilt is out of proportion and you’ve judged yourself too severely. Then there’s the “elephant in the room,” a pronounced phallus-related complex. Perhaps you have failed or feel insecure about accomplishing your “saving” people with your mind? Or, have a perception of inadequacy about your intellectual desirability? Or, perhaps you feel inadequate physically, so you compensate through your stories? Could be many reasons, but the fact that your genitalia play such a role, seems a pointer baring a degree of psychological significance.

SS: What an answer, thank you for not giving some safe, “I’d need more info,” answer. I feel dissected and revealed – but I asked for it. So, this penis complex I have, that’s tough love, but fair enough, I’d like to get to the bottom of that. Clinically speaking, would it help narrow down the possible root of the complex if you’d seen my “phallus?”

Dr G: It may have eliminated one or two possibilities, but we could probably  understand the fixation with some discussion.

(It’s’ embarrassing enough to be hearing about this “phallus complex” I supposedly have, not going to give the inadequacy theory any oxygen. Here in the interview I walked over to the kitchen to grab the wine bottle for refills – and briefly flashed my dick to Dr G on the way.)

Dr G.: Okay, new data, what time might be saved if I’d had a photo of certain patients nude. Kidding. Do you not tend to feature your phallus prominently as compared to other aspects in many of your stories, and if so, why do you suppose that is? Aside from the obvious reason.

SS: Simple reasons. One, as told in my stories, my phallus gets mentioned and participates. Two, it turns me on to experience and also write about my phallus getting attention or turning anyone on. Three, I know anatomy is shallow to acknowledge and supposed to be inconsequential, but some situations – some stories – involve the phallus – a few even revolve around it.

Dr G: Perhaps we can describe it as more of a “fetish,” than a “complex?”

SS: You’re the Dr, you tell me.

Dr G:i want to re-read everything in light of new discoveries.

SS: So, couple and family psychology, does that include sex therapy?

Dr G: Yes. I wrote a thesis related to that. [redacted]

SS: Do I need therapy?

Dr G: That depends, do you feel you need it? You seem to be happy and high functioning, but that’s your decision not mine.

SS: Who goes to sex therapy and for what purpose?

Dr G: Often sex therapy is a component of a larger scope of therapy. Or, sex related issues are a symptom, cause or component of a larger scope of treatment. And then there’s cases involving sexual abuse, addiction and dysfunction. Some of your stories are pertinent in that they describe the straightforward facts, without the baggage, of the reality some experience. It’s’ human nature for people to be selective with their truth, and your stories tell the parts that I infer. Not that some who I counsel aren’t open an explicit.

SS: Okay, I know you can’t divulge specific cases, but in general, what are some more common sex related issues that you’ve seen or treated?

Dr G: Infidelity. Sexual dysfunction. Sexual incompatibility or problematic fetishes. Sexual compulsion. Hypersexuality, although I don’t see all hypersexuality as pathological. I’ve seen those who have a clearly deleterious pathology to their sexual compulsions, and those that are like you seem to be, hypersexual, high-libido without derangement or personal distress or impairment in social, occupational or other areas of functioning associated with the frequency and intensity of these sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior. Perhaps, being aware of your “hypersexuality” (if you have such), you deliberately avoided commitment as opposed to committing to someone knowing you would inevitably be unfaithful? If so, I commend you for that, but have you considered any non-traditional options? A partner open to poly-amorous agreement perhaps? I mention this only because I get the sense you are sacrificing much for your nature, for the sake of your integrity. I’ll stop there, you’ll have to be a paying customer to get more.

SS: Well that’s good. You don’t find my “hypersexuality” to be pathological and crazy? That’s a relief. No, I get what you’re saying. I don’t think I’m that hypersexual actually, I’m a normal, healthy guy who likes women and sex, yes. Okay, a little hypersexual yes, but not as much anymore. When I was a teen and in my early to mid 20s it was a different story. There was no pill to calm such a libido. Thank god for my parents and the education they gave me – I’d be dead or in big trouble long before now if they’d not informed me as they had. I’m lucky to be alive and healthy as it were. But, as my stories have or will detail, things were crazy. Would you like to see my “phallus ” erect so you can rule out erectile dysfunction as the reason I have my phallus complex?

Dr G: No, I will completely take your word on that. You’ve proven enough, let’s leave that one for my, and reader, imagination.

SS: So, did Dare or any of my stories turn you on? Did you like them? Or, was it purely a clinical read?

Dr G: I said I found them entertaining. You’re a smart man, I think you can read the subtext in that.

SS: True, the subtext I read was that it turned you on, you masturbated over it, and contributed to the reason you chose to do this interview in person.

Dr G: I won’t confirm or deny that statement.

SS: OMG, you read my blog or my book Dare and actually masturbated during or right after reading?

Dr G: Again, I won’t confirm or deny.

SS: Wow, despite my phallus and savior complex, I encouraged you to get off? Awesome, good to know even Doctors get off.

Dr G: [redacted]

SS: I really hope you don’t cut that out of the interview.

Dr G: 100% I will cut that out of this interview.

SS: damn.

Dr G: Sorry, you agreed to rules. I’d let that stay if not for the obvious identifier.

SS: I know. So, how is your sex life with husband, is it perfect because you’re an expert?

Dr G: of course not, no relationship, marriage or sex life is perfect.

SS: In what ways is it not perfect?

Dr G: We are normal and imperfect as all couples are. We’re in our forties, the Cialis isn’t always effective, he’s overweight and I’ve worked harder to maintain my appearance. However, when I was pregnant and our kids were young, his sexual needs were not met like he’d have liked and yet he stuck in there with me. Marriage is a contract not a perfect solution. We agreed not to quit or leave each other, better or worse.

SS: Well, you’re a woman who stuck by her word, I admire that.

Dr G: Yes I have.

SS: Can we kiss though?

Dr G: Sure.

([redacted description])


I hope everyone enjoyed this one of Kind interview. I cannot thank Dr G enough for participating. Thank You.

Please comment and let me know if you enjoy such content or suggest how I might make this blog more meaningful.

Thank you.

Weekend of my life part 7: Friendship, big tits, sex, tiny cocks and relocation.

Wait – the story started here with…

Part one: One weekend in my life as a college sophomore.

and then it continued on to …

Part Two: Weekend in the life: wet lips, hard parts, loud coming, blond bush,

and …

Part Three: Anal and More Anal

and …

Part Four: Weekend in the life: Sheryl comes and goes, stage is set

and …

Part Five: Weekend in the life: There is Calm Before the Debauchery.

and

Part Six: A Weekend in the Life Part 6: But First a fight

and then here to …

 

I had a few hours to kill and couldn’t go back to my apartment, so I went to the 90 where I chatted with the bartender who supposedly dated Robert Downey Jr while he was filming Less Than Zero. I was a beer and two tequila shots more drunk an hour later  by the time I returned to my apartment complex. Still no word from campus housing, so I wondered the complex – and found a door open on the second floor – there were two girls inside – drinking and hanging out. Gerty and Megan would remain sporadic acquaintances for the remainder of the year.

Gerty and Megan were very friendly – they greeted my drunken introduction (intrusion) with forgiveness. Their kindness and enthusiasm made up for any lack of attractiveness. Gerty was fairly heavy set with enormous breasts and Megan was short, just a little bit overweight with small breasts. The first thing I said after saying hello and telling the girls I lived in the same complex one floor above them, was “we should all three go make out in one of your beds.”

“We have to use Megan’s, mine has laundry on it,” Gerty said.

I guess the suggestion was too bold for them not to call my bluff. We’d barely been in the bed five minutes – only enough time for me to get tongues going with Megan and feel both Gerty’s huge tits, when another guy showed up and the girls jumped out of bed.

I’m sure it was obvious that the three of us were up to something naughty, but the situation wasn’t clear enough for Gerty’s boyfriend to drop the politeness of introductions. I shook the boyfriend’s hand and exchanged pleasantries for a minute or two before getting the hell out of there. I was horny as fuck.

I checked down at the office and they had found three student housing possibilities. I went by Natalia who wanted to come look at the apartments with me and crept into my room to tell my roommate, who’d returned from his girlfriend’s, what was happening. On my way out I noticed my voice operated Walkman/tape I’d set on nightstand. I bought it to record class lectures but only used it to record my sleep talking. I remembered I’d turned on the VOR before Sheryl came up – realized It probably recorded our sex that morning. I grabbed the tape recorder and joined Natalia waiting outside.

The first two rooms were definite no-goes, and the third was a large, one bedroom with only one occupant. -The student living there was gone and Natalia and I hung out for a while and inspected the place. Natalia looked in every drawer and cupboard until she found some preparation-H in the bathroom.

“So, what happened,” Natalia asked, “I mean I knew there was tension between you all, but…”

“What was it you had to tell me – you said I was going to die when I heard?” I asked.

Natalia made me swear not to say anything, then told me that my roommate Branton, the one who’d attacked me, slept with her roommate Jenny the night before after the four had dinner.

“Jenny said he had a tiny penis,” Natalia said.

“What, Branton had sex with Jenny and she said he had a small dick?” I asked.

“Like, tiny, that’s what she said,” Natalia replied.

I didn’t respect Jenni much for sharing such personal information, but given it was Branton – given the circumstance, it was enjoyable to hear – the information explained Branton’s cockiness and over-aggression.

“And, I’m so bad telling this, he lasted like a minute she said.”

“Well, I woke him up this morning having sex with Sheryl, no wonder it bothered him so much.”

“Did you two make that much noise?”

I told Natalia I actually had it recorded on tape.

“No way, you didn’t?”

“I had to.”

“How loud were you, let’s hear, or actually, do I even want to hear this?” Natalia asked.

“You probably don’t, I’m going to erase it.”

“Okay, now I’m curious, play it let’s hear.”

“I should just erase it, it’s bad I recorded,” I said.

“Oh come on, now you’ve dangled the carrot – just play it and then erase it.”

“Give me a kiss and I’ll let you hear,” I said.

“Duncan…you’re drunk. We’re friends, we can’t be doing that.”

“Jeff (my roommate) said you let him massage your tits.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe he told you that. We were drunk and was giving me a massage – he had his hand on them – over my shirt – for like five seconds before I told him to keep his hands on my shoulders.”

“So you’re more comfortable with him?”

“I didn’t say that,” Natalia said. “I’m not into being another name on your list – I’ve got some self respect.”

“My list? What list?”

“Please, it’s me you’re talking to”

“No.”

“You going to play me the tape or shall we go?”

I played Natalia the tape. She listened silently while responding with facial expressions – mouth open, eyes open, hand over mouth, lots of laughter, etc.

“What in the fuck were you doing to her?”

“Nothing, I mean, normal stuff – she’s really vocal.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe this was this morning.”

I stopped the playback.

“Damn, how long does it go?” Natalia asked?

“That was about half of it. I’m such an ass for talking her into coming.”

“Sounds like she’s getting her money’s worth.”

“She’s got a boyfriend.”

“She knew what she was doing.”

“You think?”

“Obviously, she knew you were drunk. She didn’t have to come.”

“Hmm.”

“Trust me, she knew what she was doing. Not that you weren’t stupid for inviting her out when you didn’t want her to be here, but..”

“Yea, I know It was stupid, “ I said.

“But.. obviously she knew what was up – and got what she came for.”

“You think?”

“Jesus, really? From what it sounds like she had more orgasms than I’ve had all semester.” Natalia said. “No wonder Branton was pissed – I can only imagine him waking up hearing that. I seriously heard nothing last night – had no idea he and Jenny hooked up until she told me this morning.”

“Did she come?”

“I didn’t ask. I assume that her telling me he was tiny and lasted a minute meant she didn’t, but ..”

“Wow, who’d have thought. You think she’s telling the truth?”

“Why would she lie?”

“I don’t know, if he blew her off?”

“Let’s hear the the rest of this tape,” Natalia asked.

“Why?”

“No reason, you don’t wish to share, that’s fine.”

“Do you want to hear the rest or not?”

“I just said let’s hear it, Jesus.”

So I played her the rest of the tape.

“Oh, you’re enormous she says. Jesus, could this girl stroke your ego any more?”

“Could you spare me the commentary?”

“No, I can’t. What, you’re really going to do her ass now?” Natalia went on.

“Heard enough?”

“No, this is interesting, let it go.”

I was horny and Natalia had teased me like this dozens of times that semester.

“Kiss me, or show me your tits, and I’ll let you hear the rest. Only fair.” I said.

“You’re drunk, you’re going to be really embarrassed tomorrow when I remind you that you said this, we can go – you should take this place, it’s the best one. ”

“You know I loves you though, Mr. ‘humongous’ friend. – you’re never going to live that one down. Lots of insights today,” Natalia laughed.

“Shut up,” I said.

“You know you love it.”

“Not.

Once again Natalia managed to feed her horny feelings and deny me. Her tight jeans, large, interrupting tits, cute Italian face and sexual banter gave way to nothing.

We left apartment option three – I went back to the office to tell them I’d take it and Natalia went back to her place to call and wish her dad happy birthday. When I returned to my new apartment, the roommate had still  not returned. I inferred that he was gone for the weekend. I was buzzed and horny – on a mission – and drunk dialed  my new friends Gerty and Megan – I have no two day rule: barely have an hour rule. Gerty’s boyfriend was still there – he lived there – but Megan agreed to come see my new place.

Megan seemed excited to be there and I was excited to have a new fan.

I told Megan about my day – and about how it was too bad her and her roommate and I were interrupted earlier. She told me that her roommate isn’t that into her boyfriend but it was his apartment – otherwise she’d have to live way off campus.

“I have something to tell you too,” She said. “Or, show you.”

Megan took off her shoes and socks – and showed me her webbed feet.

I can’t say I was turned on by the web feet – but I was fascinated and a little turned on by how attracted to me Megan seemed. We could have done anything. We kissed and felt each other out. I pulled her shirt and bra up – kissed her little nipples. I pulled her tight jeans down and she was wearing light blue cotton panties. We kissed and made out for a while, then I knelt up and rubbed her clit and fingered her until she came. We talked about her web feet… we talked about her dreams of becoming an agent for costume designers, then she left. I didn’t go with her – was semi-hard and horny from the encounter. We’d hookup again.

I called Natalia and asked her to come back over to my new apartment and help me settle in. When she arrived, after we drank a white Russian with shared a clove cigarette, I told her about Gerty and Megan. She was very amused by the web feet – said of the day, I’d have to write about it some day.

“I really wanted to see Gerty’s tits – but her boyfriend came home.”

“Of course you did. Were her tits better or bigger than mine?” Natalia asked.

This was Natalia being a tease again. What the hell.

“You’re hotter but her tits are bigger and less impossible to touch or see.”

“You saw them?”  Natalie asked.

“No, but I might ave had her boyfriend not come home.”

“Why do you talk about sex and tease me to death, if you just want to be friends?” I asked.

“ I don’t tease you,” Natalia said before thinking it over, “do I?”

“You’ve got to be joking, you tease the hell out of me.”

“Really? I’m sorry, we’re buds – thought it was okay to talk about stuff, I’m sorry.”

“You’re ridiculous, you know you do.”

“Do I?”

“You let Jeff touch your tits”

“You let Aqua-girl touch your dick.”

“Barely.”

“Well, I barely let Jeff.”

“Okay, this is stupid, never-mind.”

“Alright, here, feel my tits so we can get over the Jeff thing,” Natalia said as she pressed her tits out in front of me.

I didn’t hesitate for discussion, and put a hand on each. They were were real, and firm and big. I searched with my fingers for nipple but her bra was too heavy duty or her nipples too small or quiet. I was aggressive – talking as much advantage as I could  before she stopped me. Natalia looked up at me with her deep brown eyes, into my eyes, and didn’t stop me. So I didn’t stop.

I felt her tits – with no kisses, while she looked right into me. Despite her industrial monster bra, her nipples responded, I could faintly feel them.

“I have to see,” I said as I pulled her shirt up. Her bra was too tight to pull it up, so I  pulled a cup down over her right nipple, quickly before she could think about it and stop me. I was awestruck.

Natalia’s bra had been hiding a ton of everything. What emerged as I pulled down, was a large thimble of a nipple, a deep, charcoal red aureola about two inches wide – shaded with little goosebumps. Without question the biggest, hardest, nipple and most distinctive breast I’d ever seen.

“Happy now, that’s more than Jeff got to see.”

“It’s amazing.”

“Lol, It’s a boob.”

“It’s an amazing boob.”

I stared at it and she humored me – held her bra down for a minute while I looked.

“Please don’t tell Jeff about this, then he’ll be asking to see my boob.”

“I won’t.”

“So, now I get to see your ‘humongous’ dick,” Natalie said as she made quotes with her hands. “I’m kidding.”

I unbuttoned my jeans, as Natalia covered her eyes with her hand.

“Oh my god, I was teasing, you’re not…”

I took it out over my boxers. I wasn’t hard but turned on so my cock was as large as it gets flaccid.

“Well that’s gonna be hard to un-see.”

“Ditto.”

“Oh, want to know another secret regarding my roommate Jenny?”

“Besides how small she thinks my ex-housemates cock is?”

“She’s got a total crush on you, like huge – She’d be all over it.”

“Yea, no thanks,  she might go tell everyone about my small dick.”

“She’d be lying.”

“She may be lying.”

“Maybe, but I don’t think so.”

Damn it. Was Natalia gay, or made of ice or just not attracted to me? We left my place to hers; I had to get stuff from my old room and had to do something about my state of hornyness. Perhaps if Natalia had been as drunk, something more would’ve happened? I couldn’t get over her willpower – or disinterest.

I was avoiding going into my old apartment to get my stuff – so put it off next door in Natalia’s – drinking the wine her roommate and big-sis were opening. Natalia wasn’t the conventional or sorority type, but her roommate Jenny was all about it – a devoted Theta pledge, maybe the only non-blond of the lot, but just as good looking.

Natalia – whether a martian, lesbian, or totally disinterested in me, worked it for me getting with Jenny. I wanted Natalia, but Jenny would be a consolation better than most first places.  Jenny was about five foot eight, skin and bones but her breasts were as large as Natalia’s and her ass was present – tight like a tennis player’s. Jenny had a dark tan – likely fake – long gorgeous legs, and long brown hair to match her clean, innocent-wanting to be naughty-innocent brown eyes. She had everything except for Natalia’s personality.

“Full disclosure, Duncan saw my boobs and I saw his cock.”

“What?” Jenny said.

“What?” I thought.

“Just want to get that out there so it ain’t weird, carry on.” Natalia said.

“You’re drunk. ?” Jenny said.

“Probably sort of drunk, yes.”

“Okay, well, I hope that was enlightening for you both,” Jenny said.

“Nah, not really.” Natalie said.

“You are drunk,” Jenny answered.

Jenny’s big sis chimed in and said, “Ouch! well, alcoholic can cause shrinkage, right?”

“I told him about Branton Jenny, I’m sorry,” Natalia said “I thought Duncan needed to know since Branton tried to throw him through a wall. “

“Please Duncan, don’t say anything. I can’t believe he attacked you – so uncool.”

“Yea, very uncool. Apparently he’s got issues, whatever, I’m out of there. Funny, thought, tough guy’s not so big?”

“Tiny, not small like a small dick but tiny like a life saver roll. But, I shouldn’t have said anything so this is between us here.”

“So are you two going to be an item now, or?”

Branton was an SAE – so it would make sense for him and a Theta to date.

“We won’t be dating, no, enough said.” Jenny said.

I doubt Branton would date her either – whatever his dick size, so the score was even.

Jenny’s big sister left soon after – and I hooked up with her a couple weeks later – another story. Natalia, Jenny and I had a couple Jello shots they had left over from whatever party, and soon after Natalia went to the bathroom – and never came back.

 

We just started kissing – Jenny and I – no reason or expectation, she was next to me and the next minute we were kissing.

“I’m drunk,” I said.

“I know you are.”

“I’ve had a crazy day.”

“I can tell.”

I felt Jenny’s ass and could feel the lines of her panties underneath her thin shorts. They were sophisticated and sexy – low rise panties that didn’t cover her full ass crack, silky, tight against her hips. Everything on Jenny was expensive and stylish, her body was nearly perfect, but her breasts were great and had nothing on Natalia’s.

 

A Weekend in the Life Part 6: But First a fight

Wait – the story started here with…

Part one: One weekend in my life as a college sophomore.

and then it continued on to …

Part Two: Weekend in the life: wet lips, hard parts, loud coming, blond bush,

and …

Part Three: Anal and More Anal

and …

Part Four: Weekend in the life: Sheryl comes and goes, stage is set

and …

Part Five: Weekend in the life: There is Calm Before the Debauchery.

and then here to …

Part Six

In my cleverness, I figured the occasion an opportunity to sneak some questionable behavior for cheap. I was already feeling sick with guilt from the Sheryl escapade, whatever I might do to feel guilty about for at least the next twenty four hours, would be added to the price I was going to be paying anyway. (wow, perhaps I was brilliant.)

I mainly wanted anything that could distract me from the self loathing. When I drank, in addition to the hangover, I always had the “guilts” the next day. Even when I didn’t do anything very wrong (not likely). At that moment after Sheryl Left, I had the usual guilts for my overindulgence the night before, I had the Sheryl stunt  compounding upon things.

As a matter of surviving my state of mind, I had to engage in something profoundly distracting. The first distraction to come was a big one – but not the sort I was hoping for. My two asshole roommates returned. My actual roommate still hadn’t returned from his girlfriend’s. He was cool and became a good friend; The two that shared the other room were nothing like us – and weren’t fond of us. They were Juniors – had a year on us, and were more down to  business, my roommate and I were more interested to learn about ourselves – or, about women and indulgences The dick roommates are a whole other story – not a very sexy one like this would be.

Just for context, picture the most anally retentive person you know; now, image they were ridiculously arrogant and smug. I was a bit cocky too, but in a very different way. While i may have had confidence in myself, the roommates arrogance involved looking down on everyone.

They couldn’t have paired us all better – my roommate and I were wild and rule breaking free spirits who got along with most everybody – usually too busy judging ourselves to pass judgement upon our school mates.

The other two roommates didn’t hang out with anyone in the complex – except for my neighbor friend Natalia and her roommate. About once a week for a month or two – they’d been having the girls over for a formal, sit down meal. My roommate and I were never invited – we’d often be waiting for Natalia to be done with the torture and come play with us.

The most arrogant and rigid of the two confronted me as I was getting a drink from the fridge. Both of them did – but it was just “Branton” the arrogant douche who did the talking. It wasn’t much of a discussion. I was going to apologize about the morning, but he saved me the trouble – he wanted to bitch and threaten me. He said something about no more having people over after (whatever time) and before (whatever time). I didn’t take note – wasn’t any chance in hell I’d have some douche roommate dictate my behavior or lay down some curfew. I would have listened to his concerns and probably even made some concessions; was never my intention to be inconsiderate.

Branton was worked up. After he laid down his rules for me, as soon as he paused for a breath, I calmly responded, how about you go fuck yourself, I live here, I’d do what I please. I thought it was a reasonable response to such threatening demands. Turns out it triggered him a bit. He charged right at me and plowed me into the refrigerator. Before I”d even decided my next move, his cuck buddy roommate was pulling him off and getting between us.

It was sort of funny actually. Branton pointed his finger and yelled about how he was going to kill me and throw me through a wall. Amazing how strong his small buddy was – keeping this larger, enraged guy from getting to me. I was grateful for it – the issue hardly ranked as something worth fighting for. There’s very few things I will fight for – being offended isn’t one of them. I’d only fought three times since grade school. As hot headed as Branton was, I think it would have ended bad for him as it had for the others I’d’ fought  – he must have thought so too or he’d have gotten around his small friend.

A full on fight was diverted for the time being, but now that the issue was in play, further confrontation was inevitable. I wasn’t going to live another night with the asshole – some maniac who attacks me. He wasn’t worth fighting – it was an easy decision to leave. I left the apartment with my keys – knowing I had to stay away for the rest of the weekend, or fight Branton.

I went straight to the university housing office, told them my roommate attacked me, and needed to be rehoused. They hopped right on it – apparently getting attacked by enraged roommates was high on the list of acceptable reasons to request housing reassignment. They told me to check back in a few hours and they’d find me some options.

Yes, you are right – not very sexy this talk about angry roommates and fighting; it’s a big part of everything that happened that weekend – perhaps not great to read about and not much fun to write about, but the contrast and context is will will hopefully make the next part of this story sing.

We shouldn’t give up on this story just yet, because here’s where the story of the weekend really begins. The darker moments of the weekend were behind me, and it didn’t take an hour before the story changes dramatically.

I did say at the end of the last part, that the next post would be very crazy and hot. The hot part I promised starts with the next part of the story, my word on it.

Weekend in the life: There is Calm Before the Debauchery.

Wait – the story started here with…

Part one: One weekend in my life as a college sophomore.

and then it continued on to …

Part Two: Weekend in the life: wet lips, hard parts, loud coming, blond bush,

and …

Part Three: Anal and More Anal

and …

Part Four: Weekend in the life: Sheryl comes and goes, stage is set

and then here to …

Part 5

I watched her get into the shuttle. I felt like an asshole – so disappointed in myself. I felt guilt. Not for the stuff we did sexually; if anything we used each other for it. What I did was worse; I talked her into flying to another state to cheat on her boyfriend – while   actually I was just drunk and had no interest in seeing her.  She wasn’t stupid – she knew what was going on; She was kind enough to let me off the hook – could have made me pretend all weekend.

I drank another margarita while I thought about how I needed to moderate my drinking. At least she was gone already, so quickly. I was guilty but free. The sex was pretty sexy – so it wasn’t all for nothing. She did call out another guy’s name – thankfully – was the only excuse I could keep in mind to feel less guilty.

I’m a good guy – but my hormones and substance indulgences early in college compelled me to make some less than empathetic decisions. Talking Sheryl into visiting while I was drunk, when I hardly liked to be around her sober, felt like a new kind of bad drunken decision – one I couldn’t detach from – blame it on the alcohol.

I knew why I thought to call Sheryl  –  why I liked her when I was drunk – probably same reasons why anybody would. I knew she was a nice person, but her weakness turned me off. I found her inauthentic for trying so hard; for trying to be a blond bombshell despite having a face that would forever deny her such a distinction.

At the time – I thought I was not attracted to Sheryl because i saw through her – had her figured out; I had no idea that in Sheryl’s weakness and efforts to be something more than she was – I was seeing in replica – the folly in my own behavior – vulnerability of my own story.

Although it would be a while before I’d discover it – I was no better – was pretending things too. I came from not far above average money – had a bit of my own – but was trying to fit in with many around me who were wealthy enough to want to hide it.  Also, I was not far above average smart  – but was trying to pass for brilliant like some others around me genuinely were.

Sheryl and I both had yet to grow into ourselves and drop the pretense. Greater depth, self-awareness and humility continued to evade me for at least another year and my first several acid trips – and until the money ran out.

Being too broke to afford a toy watch, or matchbox car , is  fast way to learn that wealth isn’t a watch or a car.  And, confidence – or talent – even “brilliance” – toxic concepts. Talent and confidence are lazy foreman, stuffing their faces, impatiently waiting for the job to get done.   Hopefully Sheryl learned that her real beauty was far more than a pretty face. One way or the other, as people grow up, most learn that greatness and strengths can’t be faked: we can fool ourselves; it’s unlikely we’ll fool others about who we’re fooling.

Sheryl was already benefiting from her insecurities: she was humble and giving; she kept her body in perfect shape and dressed classy and sexy.  For all my naivete, i did appreciate her kindness – and when push came to shove, she never failed to turn me on and get me horny.

Thinking back – I hate to think what she must have thought about me – and how bad I probably hurt her feelings. I wish I could go back to that moment and kick my own ass.

Okay – damn, I’m sorry . I was supposed to be telling a hot story here. Don’t worry – we’ve only gotten up to 2pm on Saturday; there’s a lot more to tell, trust me – I didn’t chose that particular weekend randomly.

Stay tuned for the next part  – where I’ll resume the telling of the weekend in life as a college sophomore.

What you might have thought to be the main act of this show – the climax – tip of the arch even, was just foothills before an Everest of what happened next; coming in Sheryl’s ass was not even the previews before the movie – more like the lame slide show of treats and refreshments that those who arrive too early must suffer though.

The next part of this story will kill the lights and fire up the projector.

And now you may read on to…

A Weekend in the Life Part 6: But First a fight

Honesty and Depth – Truth and Nothingness

When you suddenly think you or the world might be completely full of shit – or meaningless – or dangerous – or complicit, honesty comes to the rescue – and you understand  more of what honesty really is – how deep it goes.

When you think you’ve wrapped your head around it – and let the world farther in – and you go out farther into the world, if you go far enough, everything will begin looking like  bullshit again; through honesty you’ll see deeper

Once you escape the scariest possibility –  that reality is either bullshit or sinister; the relief is overwhelming. You’ve awoken from a dream just before the crashing plane you’re on hits the ground;  The immensity of truth further unveiled.

Whenever reality stops being what it seemed and you fear you might be a fool, or the world could be nothing, that’s the misunderstood parts unraveling. You’ll go deeper and deeper – until the world looks true again – patching the holes more honestly..

Honesty is both the willingness to see truth and the way to see it. As honesty grows – truth becomes more reliable and there’s less to unravel, more to believe.